Where the Fuck is Oldenborg?: A Pocket Guide for Seniors Who Still Don’t Know Where Things are After 3 Years

 

 I know what you’re thinking, “I’ve been here for so long already, after spending 3 years in Claremont, I know I can draw an exact map of each of the campuses and include the topography and geographical coordinates of important buildings on it.” But we all know that you spent too many nights crawling around
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KLI: Prepare For September 12

 

 At approximately 12:15 PM Thursday September 7th, KLI (that mysterious large orange backdrop to the Kube), sent an email to all CMC students containing nothing else but this photo. The Golden Antlers’ Forensics Department spent the past 76 hours on a miraculous journey to answer the question posed in this powerful advertisement: ARE YOU READY??
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The Golden Antlers Presents: The Great Prezi Apology

 

 Earlier this week, some esteemed GA writers composed thoughtful, articulate, and useful guidelines to using Prezi to improve your performance and avoid prematurely finishing your presentations. We have received thoughtful, articular, and useful feedback on these guidelines, and want to follow up on this piece. Guys, we understand that the first few weeks of the
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The Golden Antlers Presents: The Great Prezi Party

It's like a Gatsby party, but with more synergy.

 

 It’s week 1 of your FHS. Your professor has already assigned 4 papers, 7 chapters of reading, and 3 presentations, all due in 2 days. With your 18 institute applications, internship essays for junior year, and plethora of thesis ideas you already have, how will you ever manage to get it all done? Fear not,
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On Erecting Statues

Kneel before your god, Babylon.

 

 Disclaimer: We at the Golden Antlers are capital-J Journalists. We would never stoop to the level of reporting that merely focused on hypermasculine, heteronormative phallus jokes. Now let’s get out there and make a difference! Look, we haven’t commented on the sculpture outside Collins until now because we thought most of the dick jokes would
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Letter to the Public

 

  Members of Claremont Colleges and the United States, You may have recently seen that President Donald J. Trump has claimed that our publishing establishment, The Golden Antlers, is fake news. We are truly saddened and hurt by these accusations, as we have done nothing but provide the truth, and only the truth, to all
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