On Erecting Statues

Kneel before your god, Babylon.

 

 Disclaimer: We at the Golden Antlers are capital-J Journalists. We would never stoop to the level of reporting that merely focused on hypermasculine, heteronormative phallus jokes. Now let’s get out there and make a difference! Look, we haven’t commented on the sculpture outside Collins until now because we thought most of the dick jokes would
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Sam Peterson

Letter to the Public

 

  Members of Claremont Colleges and the United States, You may have recently seen that President Donald J. Trump has claimed that our publishing establishment, The Golden Antlers, is fake news. We are truly saddened and hurt by these accusations, as we have done nothing but provide the truth, and only the truth, to all
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Alex Valdesuso

CMC Student Drops Class So He Can Go to Coachella

#NoRagrets

 

 Claremont, CA Tuesday morning, CMC sophomore Benjamin Whalerson dropped his computer science elective, because it had a midterm and homework due the Monday after Weekend One of the Coachella Music Festival in April. Whalerson, who lives in Appleby, loves memes, and prefers buying Natural Ice beer instead of Natural Light because “the higher alcohol content
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Jack Gerstenberger

HMC Announces Plan to Eliminate All Non-CS Majors

 

 Here’s one school that won’t be beat. Fresh off the news that Harvey Mudd College (HMC) has fallen to third in terms of return on investment, HMC officials have announced a plan to claw its way back up to the top: eliminate all non-Computer Science (or “n-CS”)  majors. Though details are still preliminary, the initial
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David Tenorio
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