13 Things More Likely to Happen than the 16th Person Being Asked to Leave an Unregistered Party

The new drinking and party policy seems to have a lot of people worried about the social scene at CMC. The Golden Antlers is telling you not to worry. The following 13 things are all more likely to happen than you being the sixteenth person at an unregistered event and actually being told to leave (unless people just don’t want you there).

1. Campus Security finds the arsonist *
2. Pirate Party is cancelled in 2016 because it offends a Pomona student who claims to be an actual pirate
3. CMC and Pomona become one athletic team. Pitzer, Harvey Mudd, and Scripps then join together to become PMS Athletics
4. Student health does not diagnose your sinus infection as pregnancy
5. The Motley puts a lid on your drink for you
6. “Study Abroad in Cleveland” becomes a smash hit amongst students
7. ASCMC uses its funding to get The Weeknd at a party instead of buying Domino’s pizza every weekend
8. Collins becomes everyone’s favorite dining hall
9. You remember the subjunctive tense in 5 years
10. That “Keep TNR Alive” page on Tilt meets its goal of raising $6,000
11. The female attendance of TNR rises past 16% by 2019
12. Claremont McKenna College gets renamed to “Claremont McKravis College”
13. “Bernie Sanders 2016” becomes the official t-shirt for Pitzer College and is sold at the bookstore for a fair price of $49.99

*To the class of 2019, read this: http://tsl.pomona.edu/articles/2014/11/21/news/5810-cmc-investigates-north-quad-arson