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The Golden Antlers’ 2020 Election Endorsements

Trust us, we took Gov 20.
 

For a long time (eight years and one week!), we know you have relied on us for all your opinions about everything in your life, and politics is no different. Thus, we have taken it upon ourselves to compile a list of endorsements for those voting in the Claremont area and beyond. Remember, if you don’t follow our advice, you won’t be allowed to vote anymore!

Henry Kravis for Claremont City Council (District 1): No more taxes or poors

The Producers of Claremont Love is Blind for Claremont City Council (District 4): Let’s Jazz Things Up!

Claremont Police Commissioner

  1. Porky Pig
  2. Wilbur
  3. Fener the Boar of Summer
  4. Piglet
  5. The commie pigs from Animal Farm
  6. Daddy Pig from Peppa Pig

Yes on Prop 69: With your mom.

No on Prop 420: Here at the Golden Antlers, we are firmly anti-cannabis. We fully support California’s re-illegalization of the antichrist incarnate: marijuana. 

Yes on Prop 113: Add more funny numbers that reference drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. to California public school curriculum.

Yes on Prop 219: This would require all CMS water polo players to come out as 80’s high school movie villains.

Yes on Prop 601: Abolish CMC

Claremont Freaky Friday

  1. Editor in Chief of Claremont Independent and Editor in Chief of The Student Life
  2. Editor in Chief of Claremont Independent and an Actual Journalist
  3. Lara Tiedens and Pete Buttigieg (endorsing them to switch back)
  4. Seal court seal and Stanley Tucci
  5. Theo Chodosh and Bernie Sanders

Hiram Chodosh for The Bachelor

  • The only contestant is me 😉
  • It takes place at my cottage in Southern Oregon
  • We make a sourdough starter together
  • And Jeff Goldblum is also there

Cecil the Sagehen for The Other Bachelor

  • All the UC mascots participate
  • It’s the first queer season

Charli D’Amelio for The Pope: We think this one speaks for itself.

Replace the California State Assembly with Motley Baristas.

Jessica Alba ‘97 for Claremont High School Student Body President

President of The United States of America (Write-in)

  • Kamala Harris
  • Us (please, we’d be so good at it)

Most importantly, regarding the Claremont Middle School Student Body Elections, we want to impress upon all of you the importance of democratic participation and the dire nature of your vote. Please, consider the dire nature of your civic duty: educate yourself on each of the candidates and make an informed, responsible decision.

Happy Voting!

The (actual) deadline to register to vote in California is today, October 19. Check your registration status at https://voterstatus.sos.ca.gov/.

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