Dear Mudder,
I have an engineering project for you. Of course, I would build it myself but I’m already exhausted after envisioning, designing, and asking for it. Plus, my dad just dropped me a fat check for $5k for the weekend. Let’s just say I think we can work out a Pareto efficient trade: I’m a PPE major, you’re probably an engineering major— badaboom badabing, you know what I mean, I pay you, you build me a bar. That’s right, I’m prepared to offer you $50 — 5-0, that’s five big ones! — to build me this:
Will Offer: $50
Simple Bar
I know what you might be thinking: too easy, we built four of those last night blackout drunk at West. Perfect, $50 can be yours.
Another thought, I’m hosting CEOs and HOEs Rayyger and I need it to be big. I saw this while playing Age of Mythology and I totally thought it would be lit if me and my bros could hop inside this fucking beast and gallop around campus.
Will Offer: $102
Wooden Fucking Horse
One more thought. The senior apartments are an eternity from campus. I was hoping you could build me a ride to and from my apartment and my 11:00 Macro class.
Will Offer $850
Simple Spaceship
I saw this in Popular Science and thought this would be a dope ass place to host TNR.
Will Offer: $400
Terraformed Mars
I lost my shit when I found this. AUTONOMOUS SHARK CATS. I want 10 of them.
Will Offer: $5k (Just take my money)
Science Disk That Turns My Cat Into a Shark
So yeah. I know you build this shit in your sleep, so, if you have the time, help a 5C For Sale/For Free guy out.
Peace, Love, Capitalism,
Chad
By Jacksón Smith ’18 & Milo Kremer ’20
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