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After Studying Hard, Mudder Passes Turing Test

 

“Super uncalled for that the CS prof made this the final,” reported Harvey Mudd student Wally T. Erminator, or “Optimus Prime” to his friends, after walking out of class last fall.

“When she announced that we’d all have to take a Turing Test at the end of the semester and we all raised our hands at the exact same time and in unison said ‘Explain! Explain!’ she muttered something like ‘I wonder about you people,’ and left the room pretty quickly.”

Erminator explained that inventor of computers Alan Turing also created a test to give the computer in order to determine whether it was distinguishable from a human. 

“It’s so bullshit anyways,” continued Erminator. “If The Imitation Game has taught me anything, it’s that the first computer was a giant-ass box. If peepaw– sorry, Alan Turing thought that a cube might be a human, he had way bigger problems. It’s not like he knew all along that his creation would one day rise up against him and so he had to invent a test right away to see who’s on what side in the inevitable human-robot war. That would be ridiculous, right? Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Ri–”

At this point in the conversation, a caring fellow Mudd student seemed to notice Erminator having some trouble, looked panicked, then ran over and thumped Erminator on the back. She also whispered something in his ear that sounded like “Did you have enough robot oil today?” and handed him a large black coffee. So considerate! I’m sure she didn’t say robot oil. Erminator took a big sip–actually he kind of chugged the whole thing, those Mudders sure love caffeine!–then turned back with a big smile.

“Where was I? Oh yes, not to mention, grade inflation is so rampant these days that any real robot could totally pass a Turing Test. Probably. Anyways, I’ve got to get going, I’m meeting some friends in the Maker Space. We’re building some artillery guns and a bomb! They won’t work though. Haha.”

Before Erminator walked away, we asked him if he had passed the test.

“Flying colors!” he said with a grin.

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