After reading a recent Forum comment on the results of the election for Dorm Affairs Chair, The Golden Antlers did some investigative reporting and found that ASCMC was, without a doubt, totally just fucking with you guys.
The Forum comment in question is reproduced here:
Holding the DAC special election on the same day as the freshman class president race was a mistake, and almost surely had a decisive effect on the election of a sophomore over a senior. Freshmen can and did turn out in much higher numbers, because their class race (and their first election of college) was occurring. Is no one else concerned that almost exactly half of the electorate was one class?…Congratulations, ASCMC: you now have a freshman class DAC.
The Golden Antlers interviewed ASCMC President Aditya Pai ’13 who agreed, “Oh without a doubt we tried to stop the upperclassmen from voting. I specifically instructed the Elections Committee to put any members of the class of ’13 or ’14 who attempted to vote in a headlock.” Miles Bird ‘13, ASCMC Vice President, concurred, “In the process of collecting ballots I know that I personally drop-kicked at least three seniors and sucker-punched an excess of twenty-four juniors.” The Golden Antlers consulted with ASCMC’s executive secretary, Stephanie Haft ’15 who explained that the last time ASCMC convened there was a unanimous vote to, “fuck with the system, bro.” As of now, four upperclassmen are in stable condition at San Antonio Hospital as a result of yesterday’s voting. They are expected to make a full recovery. Evan Otis ’13 Presidential Advisor and DAC hopeful was not available for comment.
– Clancy Tripp ’15 CMC