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    Where Did Your Scripps College Tuition Go?

     

     Dear Scripps College Community, Recently, we have received many inquiries as to where students’ tuition is being utilized on our campus, as $72,956.00 doesn’t even allow for buildings that only have classrooms in them. We can assure you that your entire life savings plus another lifetime of debt is going to your elite education, incredible […] More

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    Local Sports Team’s Privilege Threatened by The Truth

     

     BREAKING – CMS Boy’s Track and Field team declared war on Student Journalism after The Student Life posted literal facts about them. The TSL’s scathing report on the infamous “Rains Scandal” a couple months ago allegedly revealed the details of the event: roaming bands of scrawny, naked men manspreading across campus and looting decorative gym […] More

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    A Guide to Setting Your Tinder Radius During Alumni Weekend

     

     Cuffing season is over, but the real games are just beginning. This weekend, sugar daddies and sucrose mamas will descend upon the 5Cs, and we’re here to help you navigate the perilous passage between weekend hookup and no-prenup. Please bear in mind these are only guidelines to setting your Tinder radius for getting wifed up, […] More

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    Dear The Student Life: Fuck You

     

     March 5, 2018 Dear the Student Life, Fuck you. We here at the Golden Antlers are disgusted by your behavior, actually not disgusted, we’re infuriated by your behavior. We try so fucking hard to get your attention, we’ve written numerous articles and letters addressed to you, we’ve influenced school elections, and we even gave the […] More

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    CMC Student to Marry Trust Fund at Wedding Party

     

     Every year CMC holds this glorious event known as wedding party without actually marrying anybody; but, 2018 marks the year that changes. CMC junior Jake Miller will be marrying his Trust Fund that his father made for him 8 years before he was born. “Yeah I’m super excited for this new chapter in my life. […] More

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    How to Sexile your Parents this Parents Weekend

     

     Look, parents weekend is coming up, and you’re super excited because you know that means you’re getting a free off campus meal. You love it, but after a short while you start getting this sudden urge of needing a break from them. Shockingly enough, that’s due to hormones. Getting a quick second to go fuck […] More

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    18 Reasons the CMS Track and Field Team Could Have Gotten Disbanded

     

     Look, we get it. Everybody fucks up once in a while. But it takes a lot to get your whole team suspended indefinitely. So what could have happened this weekend that actually caused the CMS Track and Field team to get temporarily shut down? Step aside, TSL, and let the capital-J Journalists do some investigative […] More

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    The Effects of the Pomexit Continues: Pomona College to Relocate

     

     Over a year ago, current senior Forrest Thompson lead the controversial movement called the Pomexit. After this successful historic vote, Pomona students decided that their college would be leaving their campus location and relocate to the wonderful city of Pomona— but not like in the actual city, probably a little bit closer to the suburbs. […] More

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    Michelin Reviews of 5C Dining Halls

     

     It is clear that Pomona’s favorite dining hall is King Kong Sushi, (obviously based on proximity), but every once in awhile in line, you can hear the faint murmurs of a freshman asking “Why don’t we ever go to Pitzer to eat?” and the scrowled response of “It’s not that good.” However, that time finally […] More

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    LEAKED: CMC To Go Co-Ed in Fall of 2018

     

     Claremont McKenna College has been an only boys school since 1946, but 2018 marks a year of progress for the college. After heated debate, the Board of Trustees came to a landmark 30-29 decision— female students will finally be eligible to apply in the upcoming 2018-2019 school year. Board of Trustees member Jeff Gallagher ‘68 […] More

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    A Pocket Guide for how to Spend the Rest of your Flex

     

     If you’re a lot like me, you’re probably some cheap son of a bitch, who actively avoids spending flex throughout the semester because you do not want to participate in this capitalistic society we live in. But alas, you then remember that you already are apart of this culture and that there is no escape […] More

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