This week, role model and upstanding citizen Sarah Clarke (POM ‘20) made the brave and altruistic decision to not join her friends in their annual trip to Coachella. When asked what inspired her righteous act, Clarke stated “Honestly, I just feel like I’m one drop in a lake, and I just hope that it causes […] More
Dear Scripps College Community, Recently, we have received many inquiries as to where students’ tuition is being utilized on our campus, as $72,956.00 doesn’t even allow for buildings that only have classrooms in them. We can assure you that your entire life savings plus another lifetime of debt is going to your elite education, incredible […] More
Over the weekend, CMC sophomore Tommy took a “fat bong rip” while hanging out with friends and talking about their summers. After minutes of showing his friends all his “sick vape vids” that he and his “back-home squad” filmed, he started to realize they don’t actually care. He then took another hit out of the […] More
Last Sunday morning the Golden Antlers received an anonymous letter that was slid under the door of one of our fellow writers. We take it upon ourselves as the top journalistic publication at the 5C’s to make the community aware of the student’s suffering. Below is the letter. Hello I am a Junior at Claremont […] More
Scripps sophomore Gemmi Blek was one of few who missed Pirate Party this past weekend. After forgetting to get her wristband 6 meals in a row from Collins last week, she realized that she would not be able to get into the party of the year. “Collins sucks, I never go there. That’s why I […] More
BREAKING – CMS Boy’s Track and Field team declared war on Student Journalism after The Student Life posted literal facts about them. The TSL’s scathing report on the infamous “Rains Scandal” a couple months ago allegedly revealed the details of the event: roaming bands of scrawny, naked men manspreading across campus and looting decorative gym […] More
Cuffing season is over, but the real games are just beginning. This weekend, sugar daddies and sucrose mamas will descend upon the 5Cs, and we’re here to help you navigate the perilous passage between weekend hookup and no-prenup. Please bear in mind these are only guidelines to setting your Tinder radius for getting wifed up, […] More
March 5, 2018 Dear the Student Life, Fuck you. We here at the Golden Antlers are disgusted by your behavior, actually not disgusted, we’re infuriated by your behavior. We try so fucking hard to get your attention, we’ve written numerous articles and letters addressed to you, we’ve influenced school elections, and we even gave the […] More
Every year CMC holds this glorious event known as wedding party without actually marrying anybody; but, 2018 marks the year that changes. CMC junior Jake Miller will be marrying his Trust Fund that his father made for him 8 years before he was born. “Yeah I’m super excited for this new chapter in my life. […] More
Look, I get it. You want to take a cute pic of your newly decorated dorm and post it on the IG and show Bria from high school that you know how to decorate. But honestly, you can’t do that without really evaluating the real world implications of your decor. Your intentions might be good […] More
Look, parents weekend is coming up, and you’re super excited because you know that means you’re getting a free off campus meal. You love it, but after a short while you start getting this sudden urge of needing a break from them. Shockingly enough, that’s due to hormones. Getting a quick second to go fuck […] More
Look, we get it. Everybody fucks up once in a while. But it takes a lot to get your whole team suspended indefinitely. So what could have happened this weekend that actually caused the CMS Track and Field team to get temporarily shut down? Step aside, TSL, and let the capital-J Journalists do some investigative […] More
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