Recently, in perhaps the most CMC-y development of all time, the Career Services Center has introduced VMock – a cutting edge artificially intelligent big data bot that will read over your resume, give it a score out of 100, and tell you that you need more action verbs. While we appreciate the fact that Career […] More
You may have noticed that the Course Catalog for this upcoming semester seemed a little light, and that’s because registrar completely forgot to add a couple classes before it went live. So instead of wallowing in self pity because you can’t satisfy any of your major or GE requirements, make sure to add these classes […] More
My grandma is absolutely thrilled that I’m at CMC. She sees it as a “wonderful educational opportunity,” where I’m going to “grow into the adult that I’m destined to become.” Her favorite part about the college, though, is the Athenaeum. She always calls me just to tell me about the people she thinks would be […] More
Yesterday, a great gift was bestowed upon the students of CMC: the gift of responsibility. As the story goes, an unwitting sophomore accidentally emailed a survey to the entire student body without BCC-ing anyone (in laymen’s terms: he started the biggest, most lit group chat in CMC history). What followed was a glorious, shockingly funny […] More
Earlier in the semester, the Rose sent out an email informing the entire student body about their recent hires. As this organization is of the highest caliber among groups at the Claremont Consortium, we decided here at the Golden Antlers, an equally high caliber group at the Claremont Consortium, that we should reply to their […] More
September 21, 2017 This is an official notice that The Golden Antlers will be filing a lawsuit against The Kravis Leadership Institute for egregious misconduct during the “Hella Lit Flashmob Challenge 2K17” sweepstakes. Although The Golden Antlers produced one (1) majestic, awe-inducing flashmob video in accordance with all of KLI’s official contest rules, the Kravis Institute […] More
Members of Claremont Colleges and the United States, You may have recently seen that President Donald J. Trump has claimed that our publishing establishment, The Golden Antlers, is fake news. We are truly saddened and hurt by these accusations, as we have done nothing but provide the truth, and only the truth, to all […] More
Welcome to Claremont, Class of 2020! Due to the recent CMC housing crisis (which has already forced some new students to move to off-campus apartments north of Mudd) (Did you know there was land north of Mudd?), DOS has decided to house a sizable number of freshmen in a mysterious location off the coast of […] More
The aftershock of Pomona College’s number 1 ranking has manifested itself in the behaviors of the reluctantly perfect students. Hundreds of gifted Sagehens now feel unsafe on their home turf, constantly being reminded by the manicured lawns and historic architecture that their college is #1 in the country. “It’s really hard being number one,” says […] More
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