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    18 Reasons the CMS Track and Field Team Could Have Gotten Disbanded

     

     Look, we get it. Everybody fucks up once in a while. But it takes a lot to get your whole team suspended indefinitely. So what could have happened this weekend that actually caused the CMS Track and Field team to get temporarily shut down? Step aside, TSL, and let the capital-J Journalists do some investigative […] More

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    Dear Student Life, Cease and Desist

     

     On February 3rd, the Golden Antlers informed the Student Life of their grievous behavior on February 3rd, 2018. Our request is simple: cease and desist from all funny business.  RE: Cease & Desist from Infringing Our Funny Patent Dear Student Life: We are writing you this letter to document a period of unrelenting infringement of […] More

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    A Pocket Guide for how to Spend the Rest of your Flex

     

     If you’re a lot like me, you’re probably some cheap son of a bitch, who actively avoids spending flex throughout the semester because you do not want to participate in this capitalistic society we live in. But alas, you then remember that you already are apart of this culture and that there is no escape […] More

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    AI RANKS OUR RESUME BEST IN SCHOOL

     

     Recently, in perhaps the most CMC-y development of all time, the Career Services Center has introduced VMock – a cutting edge artificially intelligent big data bot that will read over your resume, give it a score out of 100, and tell you that you need more action verbs.  While we appreciate the fact that Career […] More

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    New Spring 2018 Course Offerings

     

     You may have noticed that the Course Catalog for this upcoming semester seemed a little light, and that’s because registrar completely forgot to add a couple classes before it went live. So instead of wallowing in self pity because you can’t satisfy any of your major or GE requirements, make sure to add these classes […] More

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    Last Minute Halloweekend Costumes

     

     Halloweekend is approaching fast and let’s be honest, you haven’t put together three costumes yet for every night of regret. We here at the Golden Antlers understand that you don’t want to do a cliche outfit like a cat, lifeguard, or even the overused trash bag. So here’s a list of completely easy to make […] More

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    10 Things Definitely NOT to do with the CMC email chain

     

     Yesterday, a great gift was bestowed upon the students of CMC: the gift of responsibility. As the story goes, an unwitting sophomore accidentally emailed a survey to the entire student body without BCC-ing anyone (in laymen’s terms: he started the biggest, most lit group chat in CMC history). What followed was a glorious, shockingly funny […] More

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    Jacksón, Senior For Freshman Class Prez

     

     The Golden Antlers would like to announce the official Golden Antler’s candidate for Freshman Class President: Jacksón Curtis Smith, senior for freshman class president. For far too long, Freshman representatives have been running the Freshman class. In a rare sequence of events, we had a chance to talk to said Jacksón, asking him hard hitting […] More

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    Where the Fuck is Oldenborg?: A Pocket Guide for Seniors Who Still Don’t Know Where Things are After 3 Years

     

     I know what you’re thinking, “I’ve been here for so long already, after spending 3 years in Claremont, I know I can draw an exact map of each of the campuses and include the topography and geographical coordinates of important buildings on it.” But we all know that you spent too many nights crawling around […] More

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    5C For Sale/For Free: Build Me a Bar

     

     Dear Mudder, I have an engineering project for you. Of course, I would build it myself but I’m already exhausted after envisioning, designing, and asking for it. Plus, my dad just dropped me a fat check for $5k for the weekend. Let’s just say I think we can work out a Pareto efficient trade: I’m […] More

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    Networking 101: How to land that dream finance/consulting/Deloitte job on Career Day

     

     Networking 101: How to land that dream finance/consulting/Deloitte job on Career Day.  Here are the tips and tricks the Golden Antler’s have compiled from years of experience on the job: Tip #1: Pocket squares. Tip #2: Sleep with Debbie the Consultant from Deloitte and/or Steve the Analyst from EY to demonstrate your “interpersonal skills.” Human […] More

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