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    Masochistic Underground Subculture Dubbed “Pineapple Suckers” Newly Integrated Into Mainstream BDSM Community


     BDSM traditionalists are slowly embracing the avant-garde subculture of the enzymatic kink. Born out of the erotica of SpongeBob SquarePants, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, pineapple sucking, according to one of its founding members, is “orthodox masochism’s third cousins twice removed who had an affair with a fruit bowl.” The founding member […] More

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    Pull the Fire Alarm and 9 Other Ways to Cover Up Your Cough in Public


     While we normally love the sound of a good mucus-drenched cough—especially if it sprays a little—coughing during this fucking pandemic has the potential to destroy your reputation. Here is a list of strategies to minimize the chances of social suicide. Pull the fire alarm. Pretend to be choking so that someone does the Heimlich maneuver […] More

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    Commemorate the Patriarchy with CMC’s Retro Apparel Line


     Finally Claremont McKenna has answered the age-old question, “How can we say we hate having women at our school, but make sure we still get their tuition money?” To celebrate Claremont McKenna’s 75th anniversary, the CMC supply shop now features a “retro line” of clothing and accessories honoring the glorious and objectively putrid era before […] More