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    Cory Booker Taken Aback To Find Dozens Of Pictures Of Himself As An Egg


     At 6:35am EST on January 10, 2020, Cory Booker walked in his campaign headquarters and was confronted by four walls covered in pictures of himself as an egg. The egg pictures depicted Senator Booker on vacation back in his old college days—living it up on the beach in Hawaii as an over easy lazy one, […] More

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    Communism 101: New Course Taught by First-Year After Their First Week of College


     Stephanie Miller, SC ’23, knew her Connecticut dogmatism would drastically change the moment she stepped off the plane in Southern California. Never would it have occured to her, however, that a single week in Claremont would transform her political identification from a center-right ponytail into a devout anarchist. She thought–maybe breathing the same air as […] More

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    Impressive First-Year Pomona Class Includes Jesus Christ himself


     After her thoroughly impressive and frankly, heart-warming, in no way problematic, or drowning-in-booze, god-why-are-we-here first speech of the year, Pomona president Gabby Starr announced the striking line up of this year’s first-year class. As the nervous first-year peers sat in the crowd vibrating like cold chihuahuas, they looked around spellbound by our new additions to […] More

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    Claremont Vegans Metamorphisize into Soy Burger Patty


     When Gregoor Samssa (HMC ‘19) woke up this Wednesday morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous plant-based alternative meat product. He was lying on his squishy as it were soy-plumped back, and when he lifted his head a little, he could see his dome-like brown belly arched in oblong […] More

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    It’s October! You know what that means…Claremont Ghosting Season


     You’ve heard of cuffing season. Now meet ghosting season. You know it’s here by the pumpkin displays at the Hoch and mascara-streaked tears across all 5 campuses. For some students, post-fall break means you’re ready to channel raw family issues into your fear of commitment. What better means could there be than a seasonally appropriate […] More

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    CMC Reports Women are Overrepresented at Scripps College


     One of Southern California’s most prestigious political research institutions, the Rose Institute at Claremont McKenna College, recently released year-end research on diversity statistics in neighboring places of higher education. In the latest report, the Rose has taken particular interest in the neighboring community of Scripps College. This report, filled with 2 pages of cutting-edge political […] More

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    CMC Sophomores Win Hult Prize With JUUL That Mines Bitcoin


     Team of CMC Sophomores Become Hult Prize Regional Finalists Claremont McKenna College has always tried to encourage entrepreneurship that not only makes bank, but benefits society. For this year’s Hult Prize competition, one team of CMC sophomores has taken this idea to new heights. Students Randy Kraft, Pete Roomba, Matt Josh, and Rick Cheek (all […] More