More stories

  • in ,

    What Really Happened to Pitzer’s Lost $40,000

     

     The news that $40,000 recently vanished from the Pitzer College Student Senate budget at the end of last semester was recently broken by the The Student Life, to much outrage and confusion. However, while the TSL left this mystery very much open-ended, the incredible investigative minds at the Golden Antlers have pieced together a list […] More

  • in

    How to Respond to the Golden Antlers When They Make Fun of Us – A KLI Memo

     

     The Golden Antlers obtained, via an anonymous whistleblower, an internal memo distributed within the Kravis Leadership Institute (KLI). Below is the memo published in full, edited for clarity and impact. TO: Kravis Leadership Institute (KLI) Listserv SUBJECT: Fuck the Golden Antlers; we are better than them [internal MEMO] In recent years, the most pressing challenge […] More

  • in , , , , , ,

    18 Reasons the CMS Track and Field Team Could Have Gotten Disbanded

     

     Look, we get it. Everybody fucks up once in a while. But it takes a lot to get your whole team suspended indefinitely. So what could have happened this weekend that actually caused the CMS Track and Field team to get temporarily shut down? Step aside, TSL, and let the capital-J Journalists do some investigative […] More

  • in ,

    Expat Freshman demands COCK$ Mentor Group

     

     Just last Monday, Francis d’Onofrio III (PO ‘21) issued an ultimatum to Pomona president Gabrielle Starr: COCK$ OR BUST. In an exclusive interview, d’Onofrio painted a stark picture of a tumultuous first month sullied by the unfamiliarity of “tasteless” beer, a mysterious activity called “soccer”, and tubular yoghurt. These confusions, explained d’Onofrio, have left him […] More

  • in , ,

    5C For Sale/For Free: Build Me a Bar

     

     Dear Mudder, I have an engineering project for you. Of course, I would build it myself but I’m already exhausted after envisioning, designing, and asking for it. Plus, my dad just dropped me a fat check for $5k for the weekend. Let’s just say I think we can work out a Pareto efficient trade: I’m […] More