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    Michelin Reviews of 5C Dining Halls

     

     It is clear that Pomona’s favorite dining hall is King Kong Sushi, (obviously based on proximity), but every once in awhile in line, you can hear the faint murmurs of a freshman asking “Why don’t we ever go to Pitzer to eat?” and the scrowled response of “It’s not that good.” However, that time finally […] More

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    KLI: Prepare For September 12

     

     At approximately 12:15 PM Thursday September 7th, KLI (that mysterious large orange backdrop to the Kube), sent an email to all CMC students containing nothing else but this photo. The Golden Antlers’ Forensics Department spent the past 76 hours on a miraculous journey to answer the question posed in this powerful advertisement: ARE YOU READY?? […] More

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    The Golden Antlers Presents: The Great Prezi Apology

     

     Earlier this week, some esteemed GA writers composed thoughtful, articulate, and useful guidelines to using Prezi to improve your performance and avoid prematurely finishing your presentations. We have received thoughtful, articular, and useful feedback on these guidelines, and want to follow up on this piece. Guys, we understand that the first few weeks of the […] More

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    On Erecting Statues

     

     Disclaimer: We at the Golden Antlers are capital-J Journalists. We would never stoop to the level of reporting that merely focused on hypermasculine, heteronormative phallus jokes. Now let’s get out there and make a difference! Look, we haven’t commented on the sculpture outside Collins until now because we thought most of the dick jokes would […] More

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    Merriam-Kravis Dictionary of Words We’re Allowed to Put on the Internet

     

     We at the Golden Antlers know this time of year can be daunting for new students. We’ve all been there before: trying to find our way to classes, “accidentally” eating brownies for the first time, and deciding which shade of salmon short best matches our boat shoes. To help you guys with this transition, we’ve […] More

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    Freshman Wine Tasting Survival Guide

     

     Welcome to CMC, youths. We know this can be a trying time as you juggle 12 institute applications with your love of Russian ballet, coding, and your pending Goldman internship, which is why we’ve decided to take pity and explain how to relax occasionally and join our high-functioning institution. We have meetings on Tuesdays. 6:01 […] More

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    Claremont McKenna College Revises Water Usage Policy

     

     As the historic California drought enters its fourth year, all Claremont Colleges are considering ways to drastically reduce water usage. New surveys report that over 80% of Pomona, Pitzer, Scripps, and Harvey Mudd students care deeply about reducing their water footprint. Comprehensive analyses of CMC’ers, however, reveals they “don’t really give a fuck.” This made […] More

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    Republican Debate Breaks CMC Power Grid

     

     On Wednesday night, for the first time since Reagan announced his candidacy for the papacy, the CMC power grid spontaneously short-circuited as the student body allegedly turned on 1,083 televisions simultaneously at 5pm.   “Today is a date which will live in infamy. We had been warned by the grounds crew that this sort of […] More