Posts bySam Peterson

The Golden Antlers Presents: The Great Prezi Apology

 

 Earlier this week, some esteemed GA writers composed thoughtful, articulate, and useful guidelines to using Prezi to improve your performance and avoid prematurely finishing your presentations. We have received thoughtful, articular, and useful feedback on these guidelines, and want to follow up on this piece. Guys, we understand that the first few weeks of the
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The Golden Antlers Presents: The Great Prezi Party

It's like a Gatsby party, but with more synergy.

 

 It’s week 1 of your FHS. Your professor has already assigned 4 papers, 7 chapters of reading, and 3 presentations, all due in 2 days. With your 18 institute applications, internship essays for junior year, and plethora of thesis ideas you already have, how will you ever manage to get it all done? Fear not,
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On Erecting Statues

Kneel before your god, Babylon.

 

 Disclaimer: We at the Golden Antlers are capital-J Journalists. We would never stoop to the level of reporting that merely focused on hypermasculine, heteronormative phallus jokes. Now let’s get out there and make a difference! Look, we haven’t commented on the sculpture outside Collins until now because we thought most of the dick jokes would
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Freshman Wine Tasting Survival Guide

Come all ye youths

 

 Welcome to CMC, youths. We know this can be a trying time as you juggle 12 institute applications with your love of Russian ballet, coding, and your pending Goldman internship, which is why we’ve decided to take pity and explain how to relax occasionally and join our high-functioning institution. We have meetings on Tuesdays. 6:01
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Republican Debate Breaks CMC Power Grid

 

 On Wednesday night, for the first time since Reagan announced his candidacy for the papacy, the CMC power grid spontaneously short-circuited as the student body allegedly turned on 1,083 televisions simultaneously at 5pm.   “Today is a date which will live in infamy. We had been warned by the grounds crew that this sort of
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