Posts bySkyler Addison

A Dickensian Recollection of Ath Tea

 

 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Emboldened the sacred duty of handling the treasured Ath Tea tray, gluttonously overflowing with plump chocolate covered strawberries  and other miscellaneous baked goods that, comparatively, no one gives a shit about, I shudder at the girth of my responsibility. It’s 2:20, ten minutes
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A Frank Stream of Consciousness

 

 As investigative journalists dedicated to public service, we here at the Golden Antlers have bestowed it upon ourselves to expose the true nature of Frank’s dining hall at Pomona College (Claremont, CA 91711).  Here is a cesspool where normal human interaction ceases to exist but rather elicits the more carnal side of mankind. The Golden
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ASCMC Kills Arbor Day Rager, Future Generations

 

 It was the shot heard all around CMC; a student proposed TNC event— highly anticipated Arbor Day countdown rager to be held on April 26th— was killed by a member of the ASCMC Executive Board for being “stupid.” Arbor Day, an international holiday celebrating the sanctity of trees, reverberates intellect. Only a simpleton of considerable proportions
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95 Theses

A Formal Entreatment for Water Fountains

 

  When our Lord and Master Gabrielle Jungles Winkler said, “water fountains are ugly, lol” (OH @ SCR), she willed the entire life of future Gabrielle Jungels Winkler Dormitory residents to be one of repentance of her disdain of logic. Scripps campus cannot be understood as physically unappealing, that is, lacking in rabid squirrels and
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ASCMC Hires Actors as Stand-Ins for TNC

 

 Older students of CMC often claim that the acquisition of “Thursday Night Club” by ASCMC resulted in its slow but definitive demise. As the only college with bureaucratically regulated underage drinking, ASCMC stipulates that all TNC events comply with DOS safety guidelines. Students attribute these rules to a stifling of organic party culture, such as
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Welcoming Officer Red Dogg

 

 This past month, Campus Security welcomed a new member to the force: Officer Red Dogg. With the 5C faculty’s lack of diversity drawing complaints, Dogg’s hiring marks an improvement upon Camp Sec’s currently 100% Homo sapien makeup. With a keen sense of scent perfect for tracking down kids smoking on the Pomona trails and the
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