Skyler AddisonApril 20, 2018 A Dickensian Recollection of Ath Tea It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Emboldened the sacred duty of handling the treasured Ath Tea tray, gluttonously overflowing with plump chocolate covered strawberries and other miscellaneous baked goods that, comparatively, no one gives a shit about, I shudder at the girth of my responsibility. It’s 2:20, ten minutesCONTINUE READING
GA and Julia Foodman and Skyler AddisonApril 16, 2018 A Frank Stream of Consciousness As investigative journalists dedicated to public service, we here at the Golden Antlers have bestowed it upon ourselves to expose the true nature of Frank’s dining hall at Pomona College (Claremont, CA 91711). Here is a cesspool where normal human interaction ceases to exist but rather elicits the more carnal side of mankind. The GoldenCONTINUE READING
Jacksón Smith and Jake Leishner and Skyler AddisonApril 12, 2018 ASCMC Kills Arbor Day Rager, Future Generations It was the shot heard all around CMC; a student proposed TNC event— highly anticipated Arbor Day countdown rager to be held on April 26th— was killed by a member of the ASCMC Executive Board for being “stupid.” Arbor Day, an international holiday celebrating the sanctity of trees, reverberates intellect. Only a simpleton of considerable proportionsCONTINUE READING
Julia Foodman and Skyler AddisonMarch 25, 2018 95 Theses A Formal Entreatment for Water Fountains When our Lord and Master Gabrielle Jungles Winkler said, “water fountains are ugly, lol” (OH @ SCR), she willed the entire life of future Gabrielle Jungels Winkler Dormitory residents to be one of repentance of her disdain of logic. Scripps campus cannot be understood as physically unappealing, that is, lacking in rabid squirrels andCONTINUE READING
Sam Fraser and Skyler AddisonMarch 19, 2018 ASCMC Hires Actors as Stand-Ins for TNC Older students of CMC often claim that the acquisition of “Thursday Night Club” by ASCMC resulted in its slow but definitive demise. As the only college with bureaucratically regulated underage drinking, ASCMC stipulates that all TNC events comply with DOS safety guidelines. Students attribute these rules to a stifling of organic party culture, such asCONTINUE READING
Alex Valdesuso and Natalie Brown and Quizzes and Skyler AddisonDecember 6, 2017 What Your Go-To Motley Drink Says About Your Favorite Sex Position CONTINUE READING
Skyler Addison and Will CarterNovember 6, 2017 Welcoming Officer Red Dogg This past month, Campus Security welcomed a new member to the force: Officer Red Dogg. With the 5C faculty’s lack of diversity drawing complaints, Dogg’s hiring marks an improvement upon Camp Sec’s currently 100% Homo sapien makeup. With a keen sense of scent perfect for tracking down kids smoking on the Pomona trails and theCONTINUE READING
Alex Valdesuso and Brendan Busch and Skyler AddisonOctober 24, 2017 People My Grandma Thinks Should Speak at the Ath My grandma is absolutely thrilled that I’m at CMC. She sees it as a “wonderful educational opportunity,” where I’m going to “grow into the adult that I’m destined to become.” Her favorite part about the college, though, is the Athenaeum. She always calls me just to tell me about the people she thinks would beCONTINUE READING
