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    The Golden Antlers Guide to Being a Good Roommate

     

     Did you know that every member of The Golden Antlers sleeps in the same bed at night? That’s what makes us uniquely qualified to give the rest of you advice on how to cohabitate like a boss. Follow these rules and you and your roommate will be besties for the resties – and if all […] More

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    Thank God: Here’s Everything Pomona Spent Money on Instead of Air Conditioning

     

     Awww, poor wittle baby wants aiw conditioning. Listen up, idiot, The Almighty and All-Knowing Pomona College is a serious institution with serious priorities, and student health and safety is bottom of the list. We’re sorry you’re too soft for our concrete dorm ovens, but it’s not like we have an exuberant amount of wealth that […] More

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    Pitzer Replaces Canceled OA Trips With Captive Audience Meeting

     

     This past week, as the new fleet of freshmen moved into their new homes in sunny Claremont, California, ready to begin their college experience with one of the many orientation adventures offered by the college, inclement weather put an abrupt end to the originally planned week of activities. Pitzer College, being the versatile institution they […] More

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    Keen Resigns Amid Badminton Turmoil

     

     Suzanne Keen has finally bowed to the pressure of shuttlecock politics at the 5Cs. After her historic resignation, the 10th president of Scripps College went on to highlight her fractious relationship with the badminton community. “Frankly, it’s gone too far—there’s violence everywhere. Can’t step a foot without skidding over the remains of shuttlecock shootouts. I […] More

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    CMC Athletes Win Landmark Victory in Fight for Inclusivity: More Kegs

     

     From Guest Author Anna Fender Since its founding in 1946 as Claremont Men’s College, CMC has been an institution known for its inclusivity, ever since they started admitting women in the 1970s. CMC has been trailblazing ever since.  The most recent development is sure to make the not at all sexist or problematic CMC founders […] More

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    “It Was Really All Just Hypothetical Anyways,” Pitzer Admin On Like Social Justice and Stuff

     

     Pitzer College recently illegally fired three dining service workers for being pro-union. When asked for justification, they stated “because we can, na na na na boo boo,” and President Strom Thacker affirmed this message by blowing a raspberry and clapping his hands like a happy toddler. In an exclusive interview with the Golden Antlers, one […] More

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    The Three Types of 5C Men You’ll Meet on Tinder

     

     As we all know, you are horny.  As a result, it’s no surprise that 75%of the population can be found on everyone’s favorite sex app: Tinder. As someone who has never been in a relationship before and has spent two full hours devoted to meeting men on Tinder, here is a comprehensive list of the […] More

  • An introvert stares moodily out the window
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    5 Outfits for Introverted People

     

     Fall is in the air, and that means for many, it’s time to trade pool parties for Netflix parties and regular human interaction for your bong and a loaf of pumpkin bread. But for introverts in sunny Southern California, it can be hard to show people that just because you look good, doesn’t mean you […] More

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    Op-Ed: I Think My Roommate Is Secretly a Worm, His Bed Is Filled with Dirt

     

     We all come to college with the biggest fear that our roommate is a worm, and in the event, we often delude ourselves into thinking that they just like eating dirt in the corner, shitting out of both buttholes at once. No longer, for I am here to provide you with a useful guide on […] More

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    Boy Does Skateboard Tricks in Front of Big Bridges in Bid to Attract “Big Tiddy Goth GF”

     

      Pomona freshman Antonio Miller just wants to know, “Where the hoes at?” After getting catfished this summer by a fake Maggie Lindemann Tinder account, Miller put “acquire real big tiddy goth girlfriend” at the top of his college to-do list–pushing “first kiss” to the number two spot. He began his search for “someone to […] More

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