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    The Loaning Tree

     

     Once there was a tree. And she loved a little boy (which really should have been the first red flag). And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves. And make them into crowns and play king of the forest.  He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches […] More

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    Why Didn’t You Share Our Last Article?

     

     Reports indicate that you, a “devoted” fan of The Golden Antlers, failed to share our last article. Not that it matters, but this information certainly is very interesting, considering the level of relevance it held to your life and the out-loud chuckles that escaped you whilst reading it. But alas, you did not repost it […] More

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    CMC Announces Plan to Exclusively Hydrate Walkways by 2022

     

     Sidewalks? More like Tidewalks! Sure, it was cool when Jesus walked on water; but now you can too. After a series of failed sustainability commitments, Claremont McKenna College has finally decided to put its money where its feet are. After California’s record drought in the past decade, CMC’s administration has been forced to think long […] More

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    Hey, Are You Free to Get Lunch?

     

     Hey, I just got to Mallot, looking for a table now. There’s like nowhere to sit. Oh, wait, nevermind. I’m in that room in the front, like, it’s to the East. If you look at the mountains you’ll know which way east is because they’re north, can you please hurry up I see Lillian rounding […] More

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    Course Offerings for SP2020 Registrar Forgot to Add

     

     With the Spring semester quickly approaching, every student at the Claremont colleges has only one thing on their mind: what classes are they going to take next semester. Last night, classes were released on the portal, however it seems that the registrar forgot to add classes that are being offered! We at The Golden Antlers […] More

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    The Golden Antlers’ Official Statement on “The Incident”

     

     It has recently come to our attention that a miscarriage of justice has been perpetrated against The Golden Antlers. As a publication that holds the utmost integrity when it comes to reporting the truth and giving non-biased information to the public, we realize that someone people may hold grudges against us. However, we bow our […] More

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    TSL Op-ed: I Hate TV and So Should You

     

     By Alexander Chuckworth Davis III Newsflash America. There is nothing more telling of our moment in history than the popular entertainment and media that is consumed by the people. Future generations of Americans will look back on our era and judge us by what is on TV. And what is on TV these days? Pure […] More

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    Pitzer Student Discovers Water

     

     Pitzer Junior Jack Burgess has made a monumental discovery for the Pitzer community. Last night, he encountered a very wet and transparent substance for the first time ever in his life. Its texture was clean; it literally slid right through his fingers and tell to the ground in much smaller proportions. It was nothing like […] More

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    How to Describe Your Tiny, Irrelevant Private School When You Go Home for Fall Break

     

     We have come up with some ways for you to humblebrag about the incomparable Claremont Colleges to your parent’s colleagues, your grandmother, or Nick from senior year literature class who told everyone you were sleeping with the teacher. Fuck you Nick, at least I know what statutory consent is. About as many people know where […] More

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    Build Your Own ‘Ath Question Filibuster’: a How-to Guide

     

     Ath season is upon us, and the savviest of us know that the Q&A following the talk is where to really make your mark. Do you admire those inefficient, braggadocious fucks who seem to innately understand how to ask the longest and most unintelligible questions? Unsure how to prove your intellectual worth? We’ve pieced together […] More

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    Claremont Colleges Create Blindfold Day to Practice Removing Stereotypes

     

     Earlier this week, faculty from the five Claremont Colleges agreed to hold a consortium wide Blindfold Day to teach students about social justice issues. “We can’t help what we think as soon as we see people,” said Pitzer Student Senator who proposed the idea, Kevin Whittier. He continued: “This will eliminate that initial barrier to […] More

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