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    Administration Releases New Hunting Guidelines for 2019 Prospie Season

     

     This morning at 8 AM, the Dean of Students office at Claremont McKenna College released the 2019 rules and guidelines for this upcoming Open Prospie Season. This weekend marks the annual Prospectostudentante migration, a weekend long period where more than 500 Prospectostudentantes will trek through the consortium, grazing upon the natural resources of the land […] More

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    Pomona College Adds Simlish Language Table at Oldenborg Center

     

     This past week, Pomona College announced that they will be adding a new language table at Oldenborg Center for students who are interested in conversing in Simlish, the official language of the Sims. In the announcement, Pomona states their decision comes from “an overwhelming amount of support from students who want to learn the challenging, […] More

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    Chopped: Collins Edition

     

     Four student chefs call on their culinary skills as they face off against one another to prepare a spectacular meal consisting of 3 mystery ingredients selected by the judges. Contestants will then face the dreaded “Chopping Block,” where a panel of four dining hall connoisseurs “chop” 3 students who fail to measure up in terms […] More

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    Extreme Traffic on Route 15 as Students Rush to Vegas With Datamatches Release

     

     CLAREMONT, CA– This Valentine’s Day, lonely 5C students awoke to find themselves lonely no more after The Golden Antlers and Harvard Computer Society teamed up to create an irresistibly, deliriously hilarious, optimal matchmaking service. As the #1 ranked satirical newspaper in the world, it was truly no surprise that once again, The GA delivered a […] More

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    Fyre Festival Founder Hired To Set Up Pirate Party 2019

     

     Claremont, CA On February 3rd, it was announced that renowned entrepreneur, Billy McFarland, the founder of and CEO of Fyre Media, was hired by Claremont McKenna College and ASCMC to organize the biggest party of the semester. McFarland, the random Nigerian Prince emailing you and asking for money equivalent of entrepreneurs, is the brains behind […] More

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    Girl from Seattle Reminds Everyone that She’s Used to the Rain

     

     POMONA COLLEGE – Since the rain started last week, Pomona sophomore Ryan Talbot has not stopped reminding all her friends about the fact that she’s from Seattle and that she’s used to this weather. Having lived in the PNW her whole life, the rain reminds her of home. “Being from Seattle, I used to eating, […] More

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    Mudder Codes Price-Checker for 5C For Sale/For Free

     

     Harvey Mudd freshman Sheldon Meyers thought he was well-acquainted with the overall Claremont student body’s blind classism– until he stumbled upon a posting in 5C For Free/For Sale. “A CMC-er was trying to sell a messy conglomeration of undesirable used items ranging from a half-empty bottle of Neutrogena face wash to a dirty shower caddy. […] More

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    Two Weeks Post-Break, Bay Area Student Struggles to Overcome Jet Lag

     

     School is finally back in session here in Claremont, and Scripps’ weird dirt roads are bustling once more. Even though it may seem like everyone is ready to start looking at and then promptly ignoring assigned readings, some students like Nathan DuPont (Pomona ‘20) are still lagging behind. Traveling back to Claremont after winter break […] More

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    Scooter Gang Bursts Pomona Bubble: Holds Up Student for Flex Cash

     

     A world of crime and hardship has invaded south campus as recently Alexis Simmons PO `21 was stopped by a group of “frightening young men” on his way to get Boba Thai Tea from Coop Fountain. “They were on me in an instant,” says Alexis, “I was forced to choose between bodily harm or buying […] More

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    Welcome, Harvey Mudd Class of 2023!

     

     Today was a momentous day for the 213 newly admitted members of Harvey Mudd College’s Freshman class. The students of HMC are well known to be some of the brightest and most hardworking in the country, and the incoming Class of 2023 is no exception. This year’s students have higher GPAs, higher SATs and more […] More

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    “They Turned Me into a D-1 Douche Bag!”: Local College Mascot Expresses Regret About Makeover Over One-Year Later.

     

     What happens to a community when its soul member can’t seem to find himself? What happens when an individual that represents everything that makes that community great, no longer sees himself as representing those values? Does it throw that whole community into disarray? Can one even say that that community exists? These are questions that […] More

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    Pitzer ‘92 Beer League Team, Missing for 26 Years, Discovered Alive in the Andes Mountains

     

     Beer league–a Pomona-Pitzer tradition since 1776. One might describe it as “fun in the sun:” the game is slow-pitch baseball, filled to the brim with beer, bunts, bongs, Bobs, and brawls. The rules are easy–regular baseball rules, except every pitch is a strike, there are 4 strikes instead of 3, a mandatory 7th inning singing […] More

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