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    Mudder Codes Price-Checker for 5C For Sale/For Free


     Harvey Mudd freshman Sheldon Meyers thought he was well-acquainted with the overall Claremont student body’s blind classism– until he stumbled upon a posting in 5C For Free/For Sale. “A CMC-er was trying to sell a messy conglomeration of undesirable used items ranging from a half-empty bottle of Neutrogena face wash to a dirty shower caddy. […] More

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    Two Weeks Post-Break, Bay Area Student Struggles to Overcome Jet Lag


     School is finally back in session here in Claremont, and Scripps’ weird dirt roads are bustling once more. Even though it may seem like everyone is ready to start looking at and then promptly ignoring assigned readings, some students like Nathan DuPont (Pomona ‘20) are still lagging behind. Traveling back to Claremont after winter break […] More

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    Scooter Gang Bursts Pomona Bubble: Holds Up Student for Flex Cash


     A world of crime and hardship has invaded south campus as recently Alexis Simmons PO `21 was stopped by a group of “frightening young men” on his way to get Boba Thai Tea from Coop Fountain. “They were on me in an instant,” says Alexis, “I was forced to choose between bodily harm or buying […] More

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    Welcome, Harvey Mudd Class of 2023!


     Today was a momentous day for the 213 newly admitted members of Harvey Mudd College’s Freshman class. The students of HMC are well known to be some of the brightest and most hardworking in the country, and the incoming Class of 2023 is no exception. This year’s students have higher GPAs, higher SATs and more […] More

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    “They Turned Me into a D-1 Douche Bag!”: Local College Mascot Expresses Regret About Makeover Over One-Year Later.


     What happens to a community when its soul member can’t seem to find himself? What happens when an individual that represents everything that makes that community great, no longer sees himself as representing those values? Does it throw that whole community into disarray? Can one even say that that community exists? These are questions that […] More

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    Pitzer ‘92 Beer League Team, Missing for 26 Years, Discovered Alive in the Andes Mountains


     Beer league–a Pomona-Pitzer tradition since 1776. One might describe it as “fun in the sun:” the game is slow-pitch baseball, filled to the brim with beer, bunts, bongs, Bobs, and brawls. The rules are easy–regular baseball rules, except every pitch is a strike, there are 4 strikes instead of 3, a mandatory 7th inning singing […] More

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    Paternity Test Now Required to Purchase “Scripps Dad” Merchandise


      CLAREMONT, CA – Campus officials have enacted a new policy restricting acquisition of “Scripps Dad” products to those with proof of biological paternity. The Scripps Dad logo—once an innocent emblem donned in various fabric forms by grieving fathers on move-in day—now serves as a souvenir that male members of the 5C community bring back […] More

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    Claremont Vegans Metamorphisize into Soy Burger Patty


     When Gregoor Samssa (HMC ‘19) woke up this Wednesday morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous plant-based alternative meat product. He was lying on his squishy as it were soy-plumped back, and when he lifted his head a little, he could see his dome-like brown belly arched in oblong […] More

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    Motley to Introduce New Sustainability Plan For Spring Semester


     Yesterday, the Motley unveiled their new plans to integrate several eco-friendly practices. This plan is to be implemented completely by February 2019, and has received praise from several notable leaders in the environmental justice community including the Environmental Defense Fund, the Citizens Climate Lobby, and that group of Pitzer juniors smoking by the clock tower. […] More

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    5C Male Population, Exhibiting Signs of Hyperactivity and Irritability for Roughly the Past Month, Now Seem Strangely at Ease


     The Claremont Colleges have once again returned to their normal levels of late semester crippling stress and anxiety after the last month saw the student population in the firm grasp of an unexplained phenomenon. The administration is still unsure what to make of the situation which was characterized by a large swath of the student […] More

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    CMC Reports Women are Overrepresented at Scripps College


     One of Southern California’s most prestigious political research institutions, the Rose Institute at Claremont McKenna College, recently released year-end research on diversity statistics in neighboring places of higher education. In the latest report, the Rose has taken particular interest in the neighboring community of Scripps College. This report, filled with 2 pages of cutting-edge political […] More

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    CMC Launches Annual Parasol Pop-Up Shop


     Record breaking heat waves this year have prompted CMCers to churn that entrepreneurial spirit of theirs into an exciting new capitalist venture: customizable parasols! While the other 4C’s may hurl churlish remarks about CMC’s pre-professional pretension, an overwhelming number of CMC students have come to the initiative’s defense. “My electric scooter already has a built […] More

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