Category: Brendan Busch

Weeks After the Rankings, #1 College Pomona Emotionally Burdened

Students take refuge in #76 Pitzer College

 

 The aftershock of Pomona College’s number 1 ranking has manifested itself in the behaviors of the reluctantly perfect students. Hundreds of gifted Sagehens now feel unsafe on their home turf, constantly being reminded by the manicured lawns and historic architecture that their college is #1 in the country. “It’s really hard being number one,” says
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The Forum Discovers that Partying Has Turned CMC Students Into Literal Animals

 

 Something is horribly, horribly wrong at CMC, and it looks like The Forum may have found the cause.  In the article “Partying Like a Pre-Professional,” one esteemed Forum writer recounts his first-hand experience at TNC.  Being the first Forum writer to ever attend one of these events, he was shocked to find that, instead of
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Motley’s New Secret Menu Leaked to The Golden Antlers

 

 Every good restaurant has their secrets: In-n-Out has a secret menu, the Kusty Krab has the secret Krabby Patty formula, and even Sushi Cruise has a secret stash of heroin in the back. The Motley is no exception to this rule. In a moment of weakness, the Secret Menu was left unguarded, and a correspondent
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