Liat K
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in Ben Turner, Liat K, Sam FWhy I Put My Urine in Bottles in the Berger Laundry Room and Why You Should Too
An Open Letter to the Social Justice Warriors Attacking our Freedom of Expression in the United States of America Yes, it’s me, Charles C. Johnson: Champion of Truth, fabled shitter on the floor of Stark Hall, and more recently, the man who has been leaving bottles and bags of his own urine in the laundry room […] More
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Anti Party-Regulation Bros Done Even Pretending to Care About Racism Now Spellman has Resigned
The past few weeks at CMC have seen the formation of alliances between many groups of students. One unexpected alliance is that between the students of marginalized identities – who have legitimate grievances with the administration – and students of masculinized identities – whose grievances stem from only being allowed to play beer pong on almost […] More
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Freshman Presidential Candidate Vows To ‘Make CMC Great Again’
The Golden Antlers brings you the following CMC freshman presidential campaign speech: “Hi, everyone. You know my name and I am running to be your Freshman Class President. I know you’ve just heard from my colleagues, and they all had interesting things to say. Give it up for them. Ok, that’s enough. Stop clapping. I […] More
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Frost: Definitely-Not-A-Drug-Reference EDM Party
This past week ASCMC and associated students unveiled the most recent attempt to distance the yearly spring EDM party [formerly known as SpaceX, formerly known as White Party] from its reputation as a drug-fueled fuckup-ery. The planning committee behind this year’s event announced the name for this year’s party: “Frost: A 5C EDM Event” which […] More
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Yelp’s Top 6 Places to Cry On Campus
We’re no stranger to YikYak (and whatever tomfoolery you youngins get into these days) and our reporters try to keep up to date to ensure that our readers receive quality, timely pieces. Most recently we noted that many yakkers have expressed concern at a lack of quality places to cry at the 5Cs. We also […] More
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Exclusive: The Golden Antlers Finds an Honest CMC Resume
– Ender Wiggin CMC ’15, Liat Kaplan CMC ’17, Sam Pitcavage CMC ’15, Dante Toppo CMC ’15, Clancy Tripp CMC ’15, and Jack Gerstenberger [do_widget id=bl_google_ads-7] More
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in Liat K
Police Called on North Quad Party
It is a Saturday night and the CMC students are having a good time. They are drunk on alcohol, pre-professional bluster, and their urgent need to rut like herd animals right there in the middle of North Quad. They are drinking to drown out their pain. Pain from existential crises, pain from broken relationships where […] More
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Sakai Rosters are Claremont’s Most Popular Online Dating Tool
A new semester at the Claremont Colleges means new classes, new school supplies, and new sources of sexual hope and inevitable despair. Students across the 5C’s are preparing their new Slutty Insert-Party-Theme costumes for this weekend, updating their Tinders with new vacation pics, and employing the beginning of the semester’s most important online dating tool […] More
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The Golden Antlers Goes Deep (Oh So Deep) Undercover to Investigate TSL Sex Column
Buried deep (yeah, right there) in the back pages of the Claremont Colleges’ erotic publication The Student Life, a relic from the days of Sex in the City, phone sex hotlines, and grainy VHS pornos lives on with surprising stamina: the sex column. Once considered the highest form of college journalism, the sex column is […] More
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Scripps Eurotrash Party Under Fire for Racial Appropriation
Historically marginalized ethnic group “Europeans” expressed incredible gratitude Thursday, when Scripps College finally renamed the extremely controversial Eurotrash Party. The new party name, Eurobash, is the first step in Scripps College’s long running campaign to end the systemic oppression of club-going Europeans. By Europeans, we mean those from Europe who have been historically referred to as […] More
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“You Want Some Uninformed Ranting With That Contraception?”
This. [do_widget id=bl_google_ads-7] – Clancy Tripp CMC ’15, Liat Kaplan CMC ’17, Sam Pitcavage CMC ’15, Brendan Busch CMC ’18, More
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in Christie Kweon, Clancy T, GA, Jacksón S, Liat K, Maddy Stein
Claremont Independent Last to See Elephant in the Room, College Students are Mostly Liberal
In a groundbreaking report released yesterday, the Claremont Independent unveiled statistics that just might take your breath away. “It took my breath away,” stated Hill Binton (Pomona ‘15). The prestigious publication has claimed that students at the 5Cs are mostly liberal. “I’m outraged,” said outraged Pitzer alumni in residence, Busch Gee. “After learning that the […] More
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