Category: Sam Peterson

18 Reasons the CMS Track and Field Team Could Have Gotten Disbanded

Brought to you by capital-J Journalists

 

 Look, we get it. Everybody fucks up once in a while. But it takes a lot to get your whole team suspended indefinitely. So what could have happened this weekend that actually caused the CMS Track and Field team to get temporarily shut down? Step aside, TSL, and let the capital-J Journalists do some investigative
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Dear Student Life, Cease and Desist

From Infringing Our Funny Patent

 

 On February 3rd, the Golden Antlers informed the Student Life of their grievous behavior on February 3rd, 2018. Our request is simple: cease and desist from all funny business.  RE: Cease & Desist from Infringing Our Funny Patent Dear Student Life: We are writing you this letter to document a period of unrelenting infringement of
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Michelin Reviews of 5C Dining Halls

The Michelin Guide, the most prestigious fine dining magazine on the planet, recently sent an unpaid janitorial intern to review our eating establishments.

 

 It is clear that Pomona’s favorite dining hall is King Kong Sushi, (obviously based on proximity), but every once in awhile in line, you can hear the faint murmurs of a freshman asking “Why don’t we ever go to Pitzer to eat?” and the scrowled response of “It’s not that good.” However, that time finally
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