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    ASCMC Hires Actors as Stand-Ins for TNC

     

     Older students of CMC often claim that the acquisition of “Thursday Night Club” by ASCMC resulted in its slow but definitive demise. As the only college with bureaucratically regulated underage drinking, ASCMC stipulates that all TNC events comply with DOS safety guidelines. Students attribute these rules to a stifling of organic party culture, such as […] More

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    CMC Increases Military Spending

     

     In a leaked budget for the 2018 – 2019 academic year, CMC projects an increase in military spending from $205,000 to $2.3 million. President Chodosh admits that the budget was first expanded to purchase drones, which arose from a misunderstanding. Several undercover agents had reported to the CMC administration that students were playing with drones […] More

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    Exposed: President Chodosh Spent Thousands of CMC Endowment Funds Naming Stars After Himself

     

     As part of our ongoing journalistic efforts to hold the administrations of the Claremont Colleges accountable for their actions, The Golden Antlers has recently completed a multi-year audit of the finances of each of the five colleges. While we were pleased to find few significant irregularities in the Colleges’ spending, we discovered one recurring purchase, […] More

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    Donald Trump Withdraws From Presidential Race Following Scathing Facebook Post by Pomona Freshman

     

     Donald J. Trump, the billionaire businessman and frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination, has suspended his campaign after reading a fiercely critical Facebook post written by Pomona freshman and brave hero Leopold Magnus Jr. In his blistering post, which received 14 ‘likes’ and one comment by a fellow student which read “Preach” or “Truth” or something, […] More

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    White Student Announces Reverse Hunger Strike to Protest Reverse Racism

     

     Following last month’s protests by students of color, Allerton Buckley, a white student at CMC, has announced his intention to go on a reverse-hunger strike to protest reverse-racism at the Claremont Colleges. Buckley said that he hopes that his reverse protest will help highlight issues of the reverse-discrimination, reverse-microaggressions and reverse-marginalization that students of no […] More

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    Crazed Man Arrested on Pomona Campus, Claims to be Presidential Candidate

     

     A man was apprehended by Campus Security on Saturday, September 12 near Frary Hall after several students reported his strange, erratic behavior. The caucasian male, assumed to be somewhere in his 50s and who reportedly claimed his name was “Martin O’Malley,” was observed handing out flyers and accosting students about his “presidential campaign.” Several students […] More