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    The Golden Antlers’ 2020 Election Endorsements

     

     For a long time (eight years and one week!), we know you have relied on us for all your opinions about everything in your life, and politics is no different. Thus, we have taken it upon ourselves to compile a list of endorsements for those voting in the Claremont area and beyond. Remember, if you […] More

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    Perfect Zoom Backgrounds to Set the Mood in Your DILF Professor’s Office Hours

     

     Just because classes have gone online for the rest of the semester doesn’t mean that you have to disconnect from your certified dreamboat professor’s hot spot 😉 We are quite tech-savvy here at The Golden Antlers, and we plan on using that skill for good (and insider trading)! So if you’re having trouble sliding into […] More

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    How to Say “Trump is Going to Win” Without Sounding Too Excited

     

     After an excruciatingly long process of the Democratic Party trying to crush any excitement about them, they have finally succeeded; it’s pretty clear that the DNC is pursuing a bulletproof strategy. The party establishment has thrown its weight behind a moderate candidate in order to prevent Karl Sanders from seizing the means of election. That […] More

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    How to Show Tasteful Nudity on Zoom

     

     In response to coronavirus, many institutions of higher education around the world, including the 5Cs, have realized that they will need to embrace innovative solutions to deal with the problems posed by the pandemic. Since crowded classes greatly increase the chance of infection, the 5Cs have decided to start using Zoom, a group video chat […] More

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    Why I Started Pegging This 2020, and Why You Should Too

     

     A very close friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous has recently introduced me to the concept of pegging. I have taken on the challenge of pegging for this new year, and although I’m far from an expert, I believe that the aforementioned friend’s hands-on approach launched me into the world of pegging. While […] More

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    13 Foolproof Lies to Get Your Parents to Send You Money for Alcohol

     

     At the lovely Claremont Colleges, artistic passions span every genre: erotic bookbinding, smearing feces on canvas, or whatever writing Fuck the Golden Antlers on the freedom wall was. But the one creative endeavor we all will pursue during our time here is a delicate dance of trickery followed by immense guilt: getting your hardworking parents […] More

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    An Apology Letter

     

     Now that we are back from winter break and have started the new semester, I think that this is a time that we should all reflect on some mistakes we might have made over the break. Specifically, I know that many people have to interact with racist family members during the holidays and that potentially […] More

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    How to Describe Your Tiny, Irrelevant Private School When You Go Home for Fall Break

     

     We have come up with some ways for you to humblebrag about the incomparable Claremont Colleges to your parent’s colleagues, your grandmother, or Nick from senior year literature class who told everyone you were sleeping with the teacher. Fuck you Nick, at least I know what statutory consent is. About as many people know where […] More

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    Build Your Own ‘Ath Question Filibuster’: a How-to Guide

     

     Ath season is upon us, and the savviest of us know that the Q&A following the talk is where to really make your mark. Do you admire those inefficient, braggadocious fucks who seem to innately understand how to ask the longest and most unintelligible questions? Unsure how to prove your intellectual worth? We’ve pieced together […] More

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