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    How to Show Tasteful Nudity on Zoom

     

     In response to coronavirus, many institutions of higher education around the world, including the 5Cs, have realized that they will need to embrace innovative solutions to deal with the problems posed by the pandemic. Since crowded classes greatly increase the chance of infection, the 5Cs have decided to start using Zoom, a group video chat […] More

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    The Loaning Tree

     

     Once there was a tree. And she loved a little boy (which really should have been the first red flag). And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves. And make them into crowns and play king of the forest.  He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches […] More

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    Why I Started Pegging This 2020, and Why You Should Too

     

     A very close friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous has recently introduced me to the concept of pegging. I have taken on the challenge of pegging for this new year, and although I’m far from an expert, I believe that the aforementioned friend’s hands-on approach launched me into the world of pegging. While […] More

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    Transports Reach Record High Due to Parents Weekend 2020

     

     Campus Security published the following statement Monday morning in response to the frightening levels of ambulances that visited campus this past weekend: Parents and Students,  We apologize for the unfortunate and unscheduled on-campus events that happened over Parents Weekend, a tradition of utmost importance to us here at the 5Cs. We have heard your complaints […] More

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    I Keep Seeing Big Bird Everywhere

     

     I didn’t want to say anything but I’m at a fucking breaking point. Why, on my dear mother’s life, does Big Bird occupy every other inch of this campus. I know I know I know, you’ll say what all my “friends” have been saying to me on repeat, “AJ, that isn’t Big Bird, that’s Cecil […] More

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    “I love the Office” and Other Unique Personality Traits to Include in Your Datamatch Bio

     

     Well, it’s that time of year again, folks. Datamatch is here. Putting yourself out there can be hard, but don’t worry–we’ve got your back. First things first, this advice is only for people who either did not participate last year (and therefore have not found the love of their life via Datamatch) or participated last […] More

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    13 Foolproof Lies to Get Your Parents to Send You Money for Alcohol

     

     At the lovely Claremont Colleges, artistic passions span every genre: erotic bookbinding, smearing feces on canvas, or whatever writing Fuck the Golden Antlers on the freedom wall was. But the one creative endeavor we all will pursue during our time here is a delicate dance of trickery followed by immense guilt: getting your hardworking parents […] More

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    CMC Announces Plan to Exclusively Hydrate Walkways by 2022

     

     Sidewalks? More like Tidewalks! Sure, it was cool when Jesus walked on water; but now you can too. After a series of failed sustainability commitments, Claremont McKenna College has finally decided to put its money where its feet are. After California’s record drought in the past decade, CMC’s administration has been forced to think long […] More

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    Hey, Are You Free to Get Lunch?

     

     Hey, I just got to Mallot, looking for a table now. There’s like nowhere to sit. Oh, wait, nevermind. I’m in that room in the front, like, it’s to the East. If you look at the mountains you’ll know which way east is because they’re north, can you please hurry up I see Lillian rounding […] More

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    Claremont Colleges Create Blindfold Day to Practice Removing Stereotypes

     

     Earlier this week, faculty from the five Claremont Colleges agreed to hold a consortium wide Blindfold Day to teach students about social justice issues. “We can’t help what we think as soon as we see people,” said Pitzer Student Senator who proposed the idea, Kevin Whittier. He continued: “This will eliminate that initial barrier to […] More

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