Category: 5C

CMC Basically Not Even A College Anymore, Forbes Claims


 Much to the horror of the Claremont community, Forbes Magazine released its eagerly awaited ranking of the top 650 colleges and universities in America. Upon finding Claremont McKenna College nowhere on the list, college officials decided it was time to”throw in the towel.” Dean of Students Mary Spellwoman spoke to GA reporters, “ever since 1946

CMC Announces New “Study Abroad Arizona State University” Option


 CLAREMONT, CA: This morning, CMC’s office of Off-Campus Study unveiled its plans for a new program beginning as early as Spring 2014: The Arizona State University Program. OCS was prompted to create this opportunity after the success of the Washington DC and SIllicon Valley programs. “Spending a semester studying somewhere else is a very enriching

Kitten Gets Absurdly Drunk at Bar Night


 Local Claremont McKenna kitten, Mittens, is currently facing expulsion for breaking and entering a North Quad shower and consuming excessive amounts of alcohol. According to the Wohlford RA Haley Patski who first wrote Mittens up for public intoxication, the kitten in question was a mere ten months old which, even in cat years, is “waaaaaay