Anyways, here’s our tips for Pomona College first-years: Do you have anxiety about Pomona being “not prestigious enough” compared to your friends at Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, or Yale? Well, stress no more, because you’re right! Psst! Here’s a sneaky one for ya: Instead of telling your roommate to elbow you in the ribs, just lie […] More
After her thoroughly impressive and frankly, heart-warming, in no way problematic, or drowning-in-booze, god-why-are-we-here first speech of the year, Pomona president Gabby Starr announced the striking line up of this year’s first-year class. As the nervous first-year peers sat in the crowd vibrating like cold chihuahuas, they looked around spellbound by our new additions to […] More
This past week, Pomona College announced that they will be adding a new language table at Oldenborg Center for students who are interested in conversing in Simlish, the official language of the Sims. In the announcement, Pomona states their decision comes from “an overwhelming amount of support from students who want to learn the challenging, […] More
What happens to a community when its soul member can’t seem to find himself? What happens when an individual that represents everything that makes that community great, no longer sees himself as representing those values? Does it throw that whole community into disarray? Can one even say that that community exists? These are questions that […] More
As Finals Week 2013 kicks off for students of the Claremont Consortium, Golden Antlers analysts have detected an increasingly negative trend on the rise. With the increase in paper writing and exam studying, Ritalin and Adderall have resurfaced on campus. Yet the problem lies mainly in each school’s response. Most CMCers have resorted to cocaine, […] More
After several months of deliberation, Harvard University Pomona College Admissions Department releases their new student application for next year. – Haley Patoski CMC ’14, Pedro Salinas POM ’13, David Leathers CMC ’15, Dixie Morrison POM ’15, Clancy Tripp CMC ’15, Sam Pitcavage CMC ’15, Dante Toppo CMC ’15, Charlie Montgomery CMC ’15, and Will Hunt POM ’14. More
Dear Golden Readers, It is with genuine (and in no way sarcastic) sadness that I must announce that The Golden Antlers will no longer publish articles as of 8:00 AM tomorrow morning. Saturday morning we received word via phone call from the CMC Office of Development and Dean of Students that they would like this publication […] More
Dear D, “The big V-day is coming up and what better gift to give my hookup/mancandy than sex in public? Can you recommend a location on the 5C campus that won’t get us arrested or seriously injured? Any tips? – Budding Voyeur” My Dearest Budding Voyeur, You must be of the freakiest variety and only […] More
Early Monday morning local CMC freshman Joe Myers announced his decision to “stop fucking around” and start thinking about his future. After a stunning 14 weeks on campus Myers concluded that he was ready to knuckle down and work hard in his classes. Myers decided that he “might even apply for a job at KLI” […] More
The Claremont Colleges reported early this week that last semester’s grade point averages were the lowest they have ever been. The Consortium administration estimates that overall averages have fallen by approximately 5 points from last year’s numbers. News of plummeting grades comes amid widespread reports that students are intentionally failing classes in order to boost […] More
Dear Sage Antlers, Very often I find myself in a difficult situation involving panties and social insecurity: I want to do my laundry, but all the machines are full. However, there is one machine done operating with the clothes still sitting in it. Could I just wait for an open one? Yes, but fuck that! […] More
2012 has certainly been a crazy year for The Golden Antlers! We’ve received over over 35,000 views in three months, the search term “Karl Marx titties” apparently leads to our website on occasion, and 124 of you like us on Facebook. Additionally, famed statistician Nate Silver estimates that Editor-in-Chief Clancy Tripp has experienced “a marked […] More
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