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    Thinking Inside The Box: Are Mimes The Future Of Virtual Learning?

     

     We’ve heard it time and again since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic: these are uncertain and unprecedented times. Now, months later, little has changed, and students across the country are struggling to adjust to the challenges posed by a completely virtual education system. But there’s one group of students who aren’t worried at all. […] More

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    How to Show Tasteful Nudity on Zoom

     

     In response to coronavirus, many institutions of higher education around the world, including the 5Cs, have realized that they will need to embrace innovative solutions to deal with the problems posed by the pandemic. Since crowded classes greatly increase the chance of infection, the 5Cs have decided to start using Zoom, a group video chat […] More

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    TSL Contributor Bio: It’s Joe Mama!

     

     What’s up, dog?! The name’s Mama, Joe Mama. Ha-ha, sorry, I just had to start off with a James Bond quote! I’m going to be writing for the TSL this year, so without further ado, here is my bio for the website: I’ve spent the last two years at the school of business at Nunya […] More

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    The Loaning Tree

     

     Once there was a tree. And she loved a little boy (which really should have been the first red flag). And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves. And make them into crowns and play king of the forest.  He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches […] More

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    Transports Reach Record High Due to Parents Weekend 2020

     

     Campus Security published the following statement Monday morning in response to the frightening levels of ambulances that visited campus this past weekend: Parents and Students,  We apologize for the unfortunate and unscheduled on-campus events that happened over Parents Weekend, a tradition of utmost importance to us here at the 5Cs. We have heard your complaints […] More

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    “I love the Office” and Other Unique Personality Traits to Include in Your Datamatch Bio

     

     Well, it’s that time of year again, folks. Datamatch is here. Putting yourself out there can be hard, but don’t worry–we’ve got your back. First things first, this advice is only for people who either did not participate last year (and therefore have not found the love of their life via Datamatch) or participated last […] More

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    13 Foolproof Lies to Get Your Parents to Send You Money for Alcohol

     

     At the lovely Claremont Colleges, artistic passions span every genre: erotic bookbinding, smearing feces on canvas, or whatever writing Fuck the Golden Antlers on the freedom wall was. But the one creative endeavor we all will pursue during our time here is a delicate dance of trickery followed by immense guilt: getting your hardworking parents […] More

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    Why Didn’t You Share Our Last Article?

     

     Reports indicate that you, a “devoted” fan of The Golden Antlers, failed to share our last article. Not that it matters, but this information certainly is very interesting, considering the level of relevance it held to your life and the out-loud chuckles that escaped you whilst reading it. But alas, you did not repost it […] More

  • The Golden Antlers, Claremont Independent, The Student Life
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    Pitzer Student Discovers Water

     

     Pitzer Junior Jack Burgess has made a monumental discovery for the Pitzer community. Last night, he encountered a very wet and transparent substance for the first time ever in his life. Its texture was clean; it literally slid right through his fingers and tell to the ground in much smaller proportions. It was nothing like […] More

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    Help! Cecil Got Abs and Won’t Stop Fucking My Roommate!

     

     To the Pomona Administration and Trustee Board, With Great Urgency:  I am currently embroiled in a crisis with Pomona housing that has lasted almost a month now. I have gotten no response from Housing and Residential life even though I have sent several strongly-worded emails. I am very vexed about this issue and don’t know […] More

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