More stories

  • in ,

    Dear The Student Life: Fuck You

     

     March 5, 2018 Dear the Student Life, Fuck you. We here at the Golden Antlers are disgusted by your behavior, actually not disgusted, we’re infuriated by your behavior. We try so fucking hard to get your attention, we’ve written numerous articles and letters addressed to you, we’ve influenced school elections, and we even gave the […] More

  • in , , ,

    Grandparent Approved Theses

     

     After 3.5 transformative years at a liberal arts college, you’re excited to write and present the culmination of all of your hard work: your senior thesis. As a Feminist/Gender Studies and English Literature double major, you chose to write your thesis on erotic Lesbian poetry in the 1800s. Naturally. However, the thought of explaining this […] More

  • in ,

    Pomona First Years Cave and Just Go To Frank

     

     After spending the entire week repeatedly telling themselves and others that they would definitely be eating dinner at Scripps on Thursday, the friend group of three Pomona first years finally admitted at roughly 4:30 that they would probably just end up going to Frank. “We’re serious, we’re really going this time,” Samuel Ko, who only […] More

  • in ,

    5 Helpful Hints for Navigating Cuffing Season at the 5Cs

     

     Well folks, Valentine’s Day is today and that can only mean one thing—cuffing season is rearing to a close! Time for one last shot to turn in those tube tops for more sophisticated nighttime attire that might just help attract that ‘handsome, nice young man’ your grandmother has been lecturing you about since the fifth […] More

  • in , , , , , ,

    18 Reasons the CMS Track and Field Team Could Have Gotten Disbanded

     

     Look, we get it. Everybody fucks up once in a while. But it takes a lot to get your whole team suspended indefinitely. So what could have happened this weekend that actually caused the CMS Track and Field team to get temporarily shut down? Step aside, TSL, and let the capital-J Journalists do some investigative […] More

  • in ,

    Dear Study Abroad Returnee: Reverse Culture Shock

     

     Dear Study Abroad Returnee, Welcome back! I hope your 3.5-5 months “studying” in another country was as amazing as your abandoned blog and numerous Instagram posts made it seem, because it’s all downhill from here. Not to fret, though, the GA has compiled this guide to help you re-integrate into the culture you never really […] More

  • in ,

    Confessions of a Pomona Soft Boy

     

     My name is Daniel Horowitz and I am the head of Pomona’s Men In Charge of Helping Women Help Themselves and The Straight White Male Philosophy Club Leading Women Today for Tomorrow. As a member of an underrepresented minority at Pomona— the school is 51% women and 49% men according to hard data— my voice […] More

  • in , ,

    AI RANKS OUR RESUME BEST IN SCHOOL

     

     Recently, in perhaps the most CMC-y development of all time, the Career Services Center has introduced VMock – a cutting edge artificially intelligent big data bot that will read over your resume, give it a score out of 100, and tell you that you need more action verbs.  While we appreciate the fact that Career […] More

  • in , , , , , , ,

    New Spring 2018 Course Offerings

     

     You may have noticed that the Course Catalog for this upcoming semester seemed a little light, and that’s because registrar completely forgot to add a couple classes before it went live. So instead of wallowing in self pity because you can’t satisfy any of your major or GE requirements, make sure to add these classes […] More

  • in ,

    Tour Guide Presents Best Campus Spots to Curl Up in Fetal Position, Cry

     

     After beginning his Tuesday afternoon tour by telling a generic joke about walking backwards and artfully skirting around questions on parties, drugs, and alcohol from parents by coughing really loudly and pretending he couldn’t hear them, third-year Pomona tour guide Jack Rodríguez cheerfully jumped right in by showing prospective students his favorite campus spots to […] More

  • in , ,

    CMC Freshman Shocked to Discover God is Female Upon Accidentally Wandering Into Scripps Class

     

     Robbie Williams is thrilled to be studying at Claremont Mckenna after enduring four brutal years at one of New York City’s WORST $45,000/year private high-schools. After struggling through the rough streets of Manhattan, being forced to dine at five-star restaurants, and live in his parent’s $10,000/month apartment, Williams was dying to get out. “One of […] More

  • in

    Jacksón, Senior For Freshman Class Prez

     

     The Golden Antlers would like to announce the official Golden Antler’s candidate for Freshman Class President: Jacksón Curtis Smith, senior for freshman class president. For far too long, Freshman representatives have been running the Freshman class. In a rare sequence of events, we had a chance to talk to said Jacksón, asking him hard hitting […] More

Load More
Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.