photo by Kris Brackmann CMC ’17
Alternate Title: Suck it, Pomona.
Earlier this morning there was a new addition to the Yik Yak Peek List. At first, it appeared that the 5C’s had finally made it onto the list, but upon further inspection, it became apparent that Yik Yak had decided to bestow the honor upon CMC exclusively. Overjoyed CMC students (probably still drunk from last night’s TNR) flooded Green Beach to celebrate the school’s finest hour.
As every prestigious university knows, with great Yakking comes great political power. Following its breakthrough success, CMC has accepted the position of unquestioned leader of the Claremont Consortium, which has now been renamed “CMC and Friends.” Forbes has taken note of this and decided to give CMC the number 8 ranking on its “Top Colleges” list. Unfortunately, it had to bump Pomona all the way down to number 247 to make room (better luck next time, Sagehens). It would appear that even Harvard has been impressed by CMC’s achievement, and has begun to call itself “The CMC of the East.”
It was a long and arduous road for the CMC Yakkers, who have put a tremendous amount of work into this endeavor, sacrificing precious studying time to selflessly better the Yak reputation of the school. After Harvey Mudd refused to hack the consortium onto the list, CMCers even pitched in to bring Obama to campus, just so they could yak about it. President Hiram Chodosh has even informed the community that the next Ath talk will be an inspired reading of CMC’s best and brightest 200-character insights, many of which he himself has contributed. Finally, with official app acknowledgement, anonymous CMCers can put their Yik Yak scores on their applications to Wall Street hedge funds
And in case you were wondering, yes, every single Top Yak was written by The Golden Antlers (they’re anonymous; you have no way to prove otherwise). You’re welcome, CMC.
–Brendan Busch CMC ‘18