CLAREMONT, CA:
This morning, CMC’s office of Off-Campus Study unveiled its plans for a new program beginning as early as Spring 2014: The Arizona State University Program. OCS was prompted to create this opportunity after the success of the Washington DC and SIllicon Valley programs. “Spending a semester studying somewhere else is a very enriching experience,” says Kirsten Marrory, Director of Off-Campus Study, “but traveling to another country and experiencing ‘culture’ aren’t for everyone. That’s why we’re pleased to offer the ASU program.”
This new program will offer adventurous students the opportunity to attend a “real” party school—a prospect which appeals to a specific breed of CMCer. “There’s a certain kind of student who comes to this college because they love politics and can’t get enough, so we offer the D.C. program,” Marrory explained. “There are also students who can’t wait to get their start in business and cutting-edge tech, so we offer the Silicon Valley program. “ “Then,” she concluded” there are students who can’t get enough Keystone Light, so we created the ASU program!”
Students who are admitted to the ASU program are required to take no more than 12 credit hours worth of Business Administration and Applied Psychology classes at the University of Phoenix campus. OCS officials report that this program is an educational experience inside and outside the classroom, though mostly outside.
“One of the most enriching components of this experience is the mandatory homestay at a fraternity or sorority,” Marrory added, “we’re really hoping 5C students will jump on this wonderful opportunity to immerse themselves in an authentic college party atmosphere.” Marrory called the homestay experience “a real frat party atmosphere that encourages students to mentally and physically abuse one another on the basis of seniority,” She indicated that this authentic cultural experience would be much more enlightening than “a sweaty room filled with girls who have enough self esteem to actually reject strange men grinding their pelvis’ into their backsides while singing loudly to Destiny’s Child remixes.”
This program, in its infancy, is bound to draw an interesting mix of students. CMC Junior, Byron McClincey, will be among the ASU programs first attendees. “I really liked Animal House when I was a teenager,” he jokes, “I thought going to college was going to be just like that! That or Van Wilder.” The Econ-Accounting major was a little disappointed by the social scene in Claremont, saying, “I heard this was a party school… there’s definitely not enough raging, tailgating, or hazing for my taste—and the girls here just wanna talk about froyo and Claremont Confessions.”
Sylvia Manasis (SC ’15), a Gender & Women Studies major, will also be attending, but for different reasons. “People here are far too respectful, I wanna go somewhere where people use the terms ‘walk of shame’ and ‘slut’ unironically.” Manasis says, hopefully. Starting in January she will be living in a Tri-Delt house in East Phoenix (that’s not ‘Delta Delta Delta,’ by the way). Manasis hopes future employers will recognize the value in having an experience filled with pragmatism and, if she’s lucky, blatant sexism.
Interested in attending? You must be a Sophomore or Junior with a GPA between 2.5 and 7.0, and you must attend an info session this fall. Info sessions will be held at 10:45 pm on Green Beach the first four Thursdays of the semester.
Unfortunately TGA is starting to follow The Onion trend of witty and grabbing titles followed by an article that falls flat. It would be great to see the comedy pull through to the end.