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CMC Announces Plans to Fuck the Black Hole

 

In a press release on Monday, President Chodosh outlined the mission statement for the new and improved independent Claremont McKenna Science Department. Chodosh explained, “Our first and foremost priority is to provide an enriching education for our students that prepares them for successful careers in the STEM field. Right after that though is definitely fucking the black hole, that sexy little minx.”

When asked to comment on whether or not the CMC department will reach out to Dr. Katie Bouman, the scientist who is responsible for the image, Chodosh seemed visibly confused. After his assistant showed him an article complete with a picture of Bouman, Chodash responded, “Totes,” and proceeded to high five himself.

While concrete steps have been taken towards absolutely rawdogging the black hole, Chodosh emphasized that the department has no plans to go down on it.

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