Here at The Golden Antlers we have an experienced team of economic analysts, financial advisors, and assholes who like to make fun of other people instead of growing a personality. On behalf of our financial staff, these are the next twelve investments we think CMC should request from its wealthier donors.
The Richard P. Voss Center for Creative EthicsThe Golden Antlers Community Fund to Rename Seaman HallThe Shannon Miller National Institute for the Advancement of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Men“The Jessica Jin Moving Walkway to the Hoch Dining Hall at Harvey Mudd College”The Sam Pitcavage Fund for the Post-TNC Reconstruction of the Ceiling of Marks Hall Lounge in collaboration with the Scripps College Dean of First-Year Students Office.Ender Wiggin’s Seaman Hall (for the children)The Leader’s Leadership Institute Leadership Scholarship for the Outstanding Leading of Leaders in LeadershipThe Kravis Endowed Professorship Chair for Economics, Leveraged Buyouts, Recreational Golf, and Being a Motherfucking BossThe Golden Antlers Commission to Rename 9th Street “The Gender Gap”The Birthday Ponding Memorial Institute for the Study of Head Trauma and Brain SmashingThe Toppo Center for Consulting, Networking, Consultworking, Worksulting and Outright BriberyThe Sam Pitcavage Sponsored Spring Break Trip to Get Photographed with Smiling Third-World Children Clinging to You
Ay yo I like third world children don’t hate on them.