Commemorate the Patriarchy with CMC’s Retro Apparel Line

Finally Claremont McKenna has answered the age-old question, “How can we say we hate having women at our school, but make sure we still get their tuition money?” To celebrate Claremont McKenna’s 75th anniversary, the CMC supply shop now features a “retro line” of clothing and accessories honoring the glorious and objectively putrid era before co-ed integration in 1976. 

Students, parents, and alumni can choose from five overpriced options that flaunt the school’s original name of Claremont Men’s College. For all those feminists out there, the line also includes a graphic t-shirt that says “Claremont Mens’ College” on the front and “Improved 1976” on the back, symbolizing the patriarchy’s long tradition of making gender equality an afterthought in higher education. And in society in general. 

In addition to the sexist options, the retro line also includes shirts, tile coaster sets, and pint glasses with a stag that looks like it just snorted three lines of coke, and an Athena that can’t even make eye contact with you because she’s so ashamed to be a part of an institution that monetizes inequality.