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Consortium Deals a Dose of Reality in New Kidnapping/Stalking Services


In light of recent criticism, sparked by the discussion of feminism across the 5Cs, administrative officials from all five colleges met together this past week in order to address claims that the Consortium fails to offer a “real world” experience for students. Critics have likened the 5Cs to an Ovid-esque Golden Age, where the yellowish tint in the fountain before McKenna Auditorium is simply water awash with ambrosia, also known as the decadent luxury of infinite beer. On behalf of officials from all 5Cs, Dean Spellman released the following statement:


– Jessica Jin CMC ’16

** For those of you poor souls not blessed by the gift of intelligence, this is not real.  If you see someone being kidnapped or stalked call Campus Security and the police. Obviously.


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