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Elizabeth Pfieffer and Shannen Miller Participate in Hand-to-Hand Combat Fight to the Death: Patriarchy Wins Anyways

 

The Golden Antlers presents 15 alternate headlines for the highly contentious article entitled “Don’t Like The Gender Gap?: Don’t Encourage It” published on the CMC Forum. Because, you know, we like a shit-storm of angry commenters as much as the next person.

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CMC Admissions Office Touts “Real World Sexism Experience”
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Number of CMC Transfer Applications to Scripps Triples
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CMC is the ‘Real World’ Because Men
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Don’t Like The Gender Gap?: Why Not Try the Gender Banana Republic!
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CMC Female Students Predominantly Study in Kravis: Prefer Glass Ceiling
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Scripps vs. CMC: Which is Breast?
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Scripps Institute of Oceanography Perplexed by Influx of Hate Letters: Maintains That it Works With Fish of Both Genders
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Don’t Like The Gender Gap?: You’re Going to Fucking Hate the Grand Canyon
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Co-Ed CMC Still Whining Like Little Bitch
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CMC Forum Receives More Traffic Than Amish Country For First Time
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Breaking News: Girls Go To CMC?!?!
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Douchebags Eagerly Await Catfight Between Authors: Jell-O Predicted
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Southern Californian Private Liberal Arts Colleges Argue Over Who is More “Real”

– Dante Toppo CMC ’15, David Leathers CMC ’15, Clancy Tripp CMC ’15 Ellie McElvain SCR ’14, Sam Pitcavage CMC ’15, Ben Turner CMC ’16

** Think you’re funnier than us?  Post your alternate headlines in the comments section of this post.  We dare you.

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