Fall Starts, Ends Morning of October 27th

 

“It’s like, total Hurricane Sandy in Claremont right now!”       – concerned student wearing scarf

According to meteorologists, Autumn in Claremont CA began at 6:57 Saturday morning and concluded approximately 45 minutes later. This brief Fall was reportedly characterized by a temperate 76 degrees, with a brisk breeze and partly cloudy skies. Approximately three leaves fell in accordance with the seasonal behavior of deciduous trees at this time of year. An estimated 97.2% of female students immediately purchased boots that “totally flattered” their calves and could double as a costume for the myriad of Wild West parties that take place on the 5C campuses.  By midmorning however, temperatures had returned to their normal late October levels, around 95 goddamn degrees. This Sahara-esque climate is expected to persist until California suddenly realizes that the Northern Hemisphere is actually pointed away from the fucking sun right now, around mid-November with the abrupt onset of “the bleakness.”

– Dante Toppo ’15 CMC

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