Claremont students breathed a collective sigh of relief this week after learning they had mistaken the true nature of the, “Ministry of Princes” secret society on campus. Far from being the all-powerful group of future corporate titans controlling all aspects of CMC we believed they were, The Princes are actually just a group of insecure dudes who enjoy watching rom-coms together.
In an exclusive anonymous interview with The Antlers, a group spokesperson who goes by the name “A” was quick to point out, “It’s not just rom-coms though! We enjoy participating in a huge mishmash of fun activities together! Being a Prince means being able to hang out with your bros and do everything from watching The O.C. while getting mani-pedis, to engaging in serious intellectual discussions about whether or not Giorgio Armani’s Spring pantsuit collection totally revolutionizes pinstripes in a judgment-free environment.”
Since the misconception has come to light, a cautious optimism has settled over the Claremont McKenna students. Students cannot believe that they actually thought a small group of their classmates who met secretly every week in the Claremont Village at night in order to engineer the future of our school. It would be silly to believe that these guys and girl were capable of censoring The Forum, running the SIF, and basically just railing the Senate repeatedly.
When pressed about the rationale behind the complete secrecy of the group, Social Activities and Beverage Committee Chair Davis Hersh explained that society is still not accepting of men who enjoy activities that are commonly perceived as feminine. Hersh blamed CMC bro-culture for the prevailing anti femi-men attitude on campus. While courageously holding back his tears Hersh furthered, “Ok, I’m not saying all the CMC guys are douche bags, just that all the douche bags happen to go to CMC.”
Being tapped to join The Princes is among the greatest honors that can be bestowed upon an individual at our fine institution, so do not think that you can just walk on in. According to their Facebook page, the group is looking for:
The type of man who can effortlessly transition from a day party out on Green Beach to an all night O.C. marathon [season one obvi, before Marissa OD’ed in TJ] The type of man who can admit that Ryan Gosling and Rachel McA have unparalleled on-screen chemistry, and that Serena van der Woodsen really did change during her year away. The type of man who sobs so uncontrollably after Dear John, that his manliness must be restrained or he will cause serious damage.
While we try not to pass judgments in line with other completely professional journalistic publications, The Golden Antlers staff has unanimously agreed that the members who have come out about their involvement deserve to be recognized. Standing up to the male patriarchy (particularly without a Scripps education) can be a daunting task, and these men are examples for femi-men everywhere.
Progress is being made, and the changes can be seen in every aspect of CMC life. Last week’s TNC theme, “Dashingly Handsome yet Tragically Misunderstood Econ Majors and Hoes,” was seen by many students as a huge step, and the ASCMC funded Appletinis were enjoyed by all. We encourage all of our readers to Join Miley, Birdy, Pie and the rest of the Princes for tonight’s sponsored screening of A Walk To Remember. Tissues and shoulders to cry on will be free, compliments of our not so secret society.