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Goat Shadowing, Clitoral Location Research, and Other Internship Ideas for Summer 2021

 

Finding summer opportunities as an undergrad can be daunting, especially given the fact that what you do over the summer will determine what you will do for the rest of your life. Therefore, it is important to conduct a thorough search to find what will best build up your resume and provide you with the right experience for your predestined career path. We at The Golden Antlers have taken it upon ourselves to do some extensive research to find hidden gems the 5C career coaches don’t want you to know about. 

1. Shadow a Professional Goat

Target Undergraduate Majors: Environmental Analysis, Theater

Shadowing a professional goat offers you a unique experience in one of the grassiest fields in the job market these days. You’ll get first hand experience in walking, bleating, and pooping. Additionally, this is a great way to get your foot in the door of the barnyard animal industry since many goats are part of larger sheep and cow networking circles. Learn more about shadowing opportunities at https://www.dartagnan.com/buy/lamb/.

2. Finance Intern at a New Jersey Mob

Target Undergraduate Majors: Economics, Economics-Accounting

Develop your financial analysis skills while working alongside a local family business. Depending on the family you intern with, you will have the chance to work with Excel to catalog police bribes, gain insight into fund management of illegal gambling operations, and learn the ins and outs of tax evasion schemes. Though this is an unpaid internship, some perks include one free cigar per week, a patch of chest hair, and protection from neighborhood bullies. Learn more about some potential families you could work with at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QERCGJpnIMo

3. Daily Tour Guide at Chernobyl

Target Undergraduate Majors: Engineering, International Relations, History

This summer job is ideal for students who have a high tolerance to radiation and experience walking backwards, though training is available for students who would like to improve their walking skills. Each tour guide gets fitted with a broken Geiger counter, a unique flag to help your visitors distinguish you from other tour guides, and an N-95 mask to keep you Covid safe. Read past interns’ testimony about their experience as a Chernobyl tour guide at https://listverse.com/2010/03/25/10-famous-incidences-of-death-by-radiation/.

4. Culinary Apprenticeship with Cannibals

Target Undergraduate Majors: Anthropology, Chemistry

This 6-week apprenticeship course gives you the opportunity to gain on-the-job experience in fresh ingredient sourcing, meal preparation, and dish presentation. Furthermore, you’ll also participate in various workshops on topics such as knife skills, stain removal methods, freezer maintenance, and how to respond in police interrogations. Join the culinary cannibal community discussion at https://www.quora.com/What-does-human-flesh-taste-like.

5. Research Assistant at Clitoris Location Lab

Target Undergraduate Majors: Pre-Med, Biology

Be a part of a cutting-edge team searching for the elusive female sex organ so many men have failed to find. Not only will this unique lab experiences set you apart from other candidates in the future, but you will also be doing a great public service to people everywhere who have been patiently waiting to fucking cum already. To learn more about the impact of your work, go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbHFgQ419Qs.

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