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Harvey Mudd Senior Realizes That Texas Senator Is Not Former 2000s Pop Star Taio Cruz

 

In a shocking revelation last night, Harvey Mudd Student Edward Chang was found to have mistakenly thought the acting Texas Senator was former British musician Taio Cruz instead of actual Senator Ted Cruz. 

Chang exposed himself over social media after a tweet commentating on the recent Texas blackouts.

After a follower asked him to elaborate about the songs, Chang said, “you know, Taio Cruz, the London-based artist turned Texas Senator? ‘Dynamite’? ‘Break Your Heart’? Happy that he made a successful career pivot tho.”

Chang, a Diamond Bar resident who has job offers from Google, Apple, Facebook, Amazon, Palantir, Goldman Sachs, the CIA, and MyPillow, is the latest example of extremely intelligent Harvey Mudd students also knowing absolutely nothing about politics. 

“He really doesn’t read the news at all,” said Scripps’ Ella Bridges, a friend who frequently goes to his CS5 grutoring sessions. “I think the closest you’ll get is when he accidentally clicks the Reddit home page while he’s on r/pcmasterrace.”

It wasn’t the first time Chang had made such a mistake — as recently as two months ago, Chang also mistook the identity of the President of the United States.

“We were talking after I copied his Python code, and he said to me, ‘That’s crazy that Joe Budden is the new President, I loved him and DJ Akademiks in Everyday Struggle.’ I said, you mean Joe Biden? And he was like, ‘who is Joe Biden? I’m talking about American broadcaster, cultural critic, media personality, and former rapper Joe Budden. The new President of the United States.’ I got a little sad when I realized he’s working at Twitter in political content moderation after graduation.” 

When we reached out to Chang for comments, he readily admitted his lack of political interest. “I mean, I spend like sixteen hours a day busting my butt coding — what do you want me to do with the other eight? Stay informed? Sleep? I can’t, I have a level 60 Genshin Impact character to grind XP on with the boys. Some things are just more important in life.” 

It doesn’t seem like Chang will change his ways anytime soon. 

“Look, you weirdo social studies majors can criticize all you want, but at the end of the day, you’re just jealous because you’re broke and I stack paper to the ceiling and ride on 24-inch chrome. I don’t know who Ted Cruz is, you’re going to live in a Washington, D.C. studio apartment with six roommates and no running water — we all make mistakes in life, okay?”

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