If 5C Buildings Were Celebrities


CMC Bubble Weight Room – Mel Gibson

Could there be a less welcoming place on campus for female identifying students?image22



Seaman Hall – Adam Sandler

May have been funny at one time, but now pretty much irrelevant 



Kravis Center – Kanye West

Thinks he is the shit, but, like, actually kind of is… much to everyone’s annoyance



Collins Dining Hall – Justin Bieber

Has tons of fan girls and a rather large and committed following (specifically originating from Pomona) but everyone still admits it pretty much sucks



Motley and Seal Court – Beyonce

According to fans: There really is no specific reason for this, it just seems right. Yaaas queen!

According to everyone else (who would never dare say this in front of a fan for fear of being burned at the stake: Definitely good, but massively overhyped



Dom’s Lounge – Rebecca Black

Everyone loves to make fun of it, but somehow you always end up here on a party night. Just like how someone inevitably starts singing “Friday” every time the day comes around.



Frank Dining Hall – Paula Deen

The queen of unhealthy recipes and down home cooking. Even though it rubs us the wrong way on so many levels, Franksgiving is a must attend.




Linde/Case/North/West Dorms  –  Miley Cyrus

Just like with Miley, you never quite know what to expect. Who knows what the fuck will be going down on a random Sunday night?image31


Sally Tiernan Field House – Taylor Swift

Everyone hates on it, but only because they aren’t allowed in. Basically we all know how amazing it is, but we’re all too jealous to appreciate it.  (Not applicable to Scripps students)




Green Dorm :: Snoop Dogg

But like, not in a good way… If there is a good way.




Rains Athletic Center – Former President Bill Clinton

Oldie but a goodie. Even though the Rain’s Monitors are supposed to keep everyone not from Pomona or Pitzer out, pretty much everyone still gets in… just like how, despite Hillary, Bill still got around.



Pitzer Mounds – Ryan Gosling

Is it wrong that I regularly fantasize about lying in that hammock with a shirtless Gosling? I know I’m not the only one. Also, his muscles are probably about as man-made (and landscaped) as those fake hills.



The Hub – Meryl Streep

Just as Meryl Streep gets better as she gets older, the Hub food becomes more delicious later at night (and the drunker you become).



CMC Events Plaza – Kim Kardashian

The Events Plaza (AKA party prison) been everywhere lately, just like Kim Kardashian. CMC admin is investing a lot of cash to make it bigger and better, with additions like speakers for a bigger base and lights to make the plaza more attractive. Still, though both Kim K and the Events Plaza can buy a perfect appearance, it doesn’t necessarily mean a good time will be had in their presence.




Honnold-Mudd Library – Nicholas Cage

Your American History final is tomorrow and you haven’t done the reading all semester. What do you do? You can either hole up in the library or watch National Treasure. Either way, you’ll learn more in 2 hours than you did all year.




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