KLI: Prepare For September 12

     

    At approximately 12:15 PM Thursday September 7th, KLI (that mysterious large orange backdrop to the Kube), sent an email to all CMC students containing nothing else but this photo. The Golden Antlers’ Forensics Department spent the past 76 hours on a miraculous journey to answer the question posed in this powerful advertisement: ARE YOU READY??

    Ready for ~what~ you might ask. Our team cracked the case.

    Here are eleven things to be prepared for on September 12 coming from KLI:

    1. The return of Cocaine Tuesdays
    2. Another “Art” Installation
    3. This is actually a threat from Anonymous
    4. The Purge (test leadership skills)
    5. To announce Followship is the new Leadership
    6. Antiantifrespe (Anti Anti Free Speech Protest)
    7. Maybe they’ve figured out what they actually do
    8. The return of Cthulu
    9. Another Collins renovation to make it look more like a Wendy’s boardroom
    10. Judgement Day
    11. The seance with Adam Smith

    Honestly, it’s anyone’s best guess what the fuck could be coming on September 12th. Locusts? Wear salmon shorts, smoke a stoge, and pray to your copy of The Wealth of Nations and you’ll probably be fine. Maybe brush up your LinkedIn too, just to play it safe.

    By the Golden Antlers Editorial Staff. 

    Jacksón Smith, Betts Alalou, Sam Peterson, Alex Valdesuso

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