Local Dad Gives Son, Harvey Mudd Freshman, Extremely Unrealistic Amount of Condoms


    SEATTLE, WA– Our sources indicate that local dad, Frank Simmons of Bellevue, has given his son, Sam, an overwhelmingly impractical number of condoms upon his return to Harvey Mudd College.

    At SeaTac International Airport, after a brief hug in front of terminal four, Frank returned to the car to get one last thing before he bid Sam adieu until Spring Break.

    “Hold on, I got something special for you, buddy,” Frank reportedly said to Sam. He then emerged from the back seat of the Volkswagen proudly holding a box of 10 Trojan Ultra Ribbed size Extra Large Condoms. “Finish the second semester strong, son!” Frank said and drove off.

    Sam, wholly shocked and pleased to receive such a gift, accepted with a childlike giddiness. He shot his fist up in the air and grinned. “Yes!” he later told reporters. “Now nothing’s holding me back from having sex in college anymore!”

    Good luck, Sam!

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