Harvey Mudd freshman Sheldon Meyers thought he was well-acquainted with the overall Claremont student body’s blind classism– until he stumbled upon a posting in 5C For Free/For Sale.
“A CMC-er was trying to sell a messy conglomeration of undesirable used items ranging from a half-empty bottle of Neutrogena face wash to a dirty shower caddy. Yet what quite literally took my breath away was a grouping of 6 mismatched hangers listed for $4. This girl is an Econ major and is selling hangers at $1.50 a pop. Aren’t you supposed to be into free-market capitalism or whatever?”
Meyers hastily compiled a list of plastic hanger listings, ranging from Big Box stores like Target to even handmade recycled artisanal hangers from Etsy. Yet when he felt as though he were ready to make his point, the listing was marked as sold. Meyers was dumbfounded.
“I only believe in the inevitability of death, but I swear I felt a surge of energy rush through my body, as though some spirit were beckoning me. In that moment, I felt the divine intervention of supply and demand coursing through my veins. I knew I needed to code a price-checker.”
Now through an impartial Facebook account named “Price Checker,” Meyers will be able to comment on the true price of every product being sold on 5C for Sale. Meyers declined to comment on how he intercepted Facebook’s firewalls to reprogram the account to automatically scour each product.
“I am finally at peace knowing that maybe one day, all 5C students will be able to reconcile their wildly distorted conceptualizations of money and be able to enter the workforce with realistic expectations.” Meyers paused for emphasis as a New York plated Tesla zoomed past us, blasting Travis Scotts’ Sicko Mode. “Or maybe, most of them will never need it anyway.”
Comments
Loading…