Early this morning Pomona College admin announced the decision to demolish First-Year dorms Mudd and Blaisdell so the “Blue Tape Masterpieces” that grace the walls of the dorms’ halls can be featured in a permanent art collection at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art named Self-Portraits of Trapped Conflict that will debut in April.
Students are on their own in terms of finding alternate housing. However, Frank Bedoya has graciously opened up Edmund’s Ballroom for those who wish to camp out there with loaned OTL gear. It is also expected that Mudd-Blaisdell students will be able to stay in the dorm rooms of those residents of Harwood, Wig, and Lyon whom they most likely hosted during the Great Heat Wave of September 2014.
This news comes after first-year, Maria Von Trapp’s, mother came to visit over this past Parents Weekend. Lucille Von Trapp, who happens to be a world-renowned art collector, was immediately brought to tears at the sight of the tape art while walking through the halls of Mudd to her daughter’s dorm room. “The elegance and emotion exhibited in the Tape Art left me absolutely breathless from just one glance” she states, still awe-filled from the experience. “The moment I got to Maria’s room I called the Director of Collections at LACMA and told him to get down here ASAP and when he got here he decided to buy up all of the walls immediately” Von Trapp says.
A few of the more prominent pieces from the collection include:
Distance from Spoon
“This piece captures the idea of ‘just one more bite’—the thought that so often crosses the mind of first-years as they roll along the path to the Freshman 15” say creators, conjoined twins, Leo and Ellie Hertschel ’18.
Absentminded Study of Manufactured Sphere
“You’re getting verrrryyyy sleeepppyyyy”-self proclaimed hypnotist and tape artist Tabitha Lune ’18.
Nudist in the Mountain Range
“If you look real close you can see the naked lady about halfway up the third mountain. I’m good at drawing naked ladies because I have a lot of posters of them in my room”-artist Stuart McIntyre ‘18
Metaphysical Theme from Unconscious Hope
“I think the title says it all”- artist Anon ‘18
Paranoiac-Critical Fragment of Eternal Counter Hegemonic Forces
“Look up the big words and maybe you’ll understand, but it’s probably too complicated for you.” Said artist, Brad Florence ’18, with that signature Pomona know-it-allness. #WellFuckYouBrad
The Alternate Ending
“Rudolph gets plastic surgery to get a black nose instead of his red nose in order to stop ‘all of the other reindeer’ from teasing him. Surgery goes horribly wrong and Rudolph is left without a nose, destined to live the rest of his days void of olfactory stimulation.” –creator Nathan Grimm ‘18
The Investigation of Love
“A heart that looks like two merged, fragmented coffins. Suck on that, bitch”-Lilly Glass ‘18
Macklemore Re-envisioned –Number 8
“I mean, if you think about it and then squint your eyes and tilt your head to the right, it’s pretty accurate”-Bryan Lewis ’18
Biscuit with Model
“Fuck wit’ me” –assumed artist(?) Alphonso Laurenze ‘18
“My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with”-Oprah Winfrey. This has absolutely nothing to do with the wall art but we couldn’t find the artist and we thought it was a good quote.
These photographs and more have already been released to major news sources via the interwebs and have garnered more than exemplary reviews. The New York Times calls them “Mediocre”, the Miami Herald raves “This is art?” and your regular podunk Arkansas Gazette headed an article involving such laudatory reviews as “Why Art in Public Schools Should be Defunded.” Needless to say, the LACMA exhibition is expected to be a huge hit.
As for the money received for these multimillion-dollar pieces, President David Oxtoby has announced that it will be put into creating and developing a new Tape Wall Art major and department, “so students can learn to express themselves in this interesting and rewarding new form.” Of course, in order to keep up the college’s 47 majors (because 47 is the most common number in the universe, right?), they have decided to cut the Computer Science major, which is fine because “no one even takes compsci at Pomona anyway” said Oxtoby.
– Cally Cochran PO ’18