On Sunday, 5’s if not 10’s of 5C students gathered in mourning in one of the u-shaped quads at the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is post-Foam Harvey Mudd. Students mourned the loss of hundreds of pairs of sandals and flip-flops, as well as dozens of anklets, toe rings, and toenails. These items were lost, of course, to a strange, beautiful monster, Foam.
Presiding over the service were a couple of Mudders who are too smart to wear flip-flops to Foam and can’t figure out why citizens of the other 5c’s continue in their stupidity and poor decision making.
One Scripps student was particularly vocal about her opinion on the ceremony, “I just wonder why only the lives of flip flops are being mourned today. It’s violent and oppressive that all other shoe types are being marginalized on these campuses.” Another Scripps student was simply relieved that she had worn her Tory Burch flats Saturday night instead of her Tory Burch sandals.
Ultimately, very few Pitzer students attended the mass burial, as Pitzerites do not wear shoes. And if they do, they restrict themselves to brands where the child slaves who made them also get a pair to bring home. In fact, Pitzer will be hosting a separate post-foam activity, in which all students are invited to create a sculpture out of lost flip flops and other debris leftover from Foam that could not be reused or recycled into yoga mats.
One CMC student, still visibly intoxicated from the night before attended, mourning the loss not of his Birkenstocks or Rainbows, but of his beloved Sperries (RIP, blessed be his boat shoes). This young man fought back tears as he recalled “I can’t believe I was so reckless…only 12 pairs left.”
A forum will be held next week at Pomona to discuss the social implications of flip-flops, led by student majoring in “The Politics and Social Significance of Footwear in Africa and the Americas.” The panel will include 2/3rds of the members of the lonely island.
As students gathered at this event, they were able to remember and honor the brave, lost soles that they will always hold dear in their hearts. Be it a Havaiana, a Rainbow, a Birkenstock, or one of those $3 flip-flops someone bought at CVS, these shoes will be remembered. To us, they will live on. Much like the extremely active culture of bacteria now coating your eyeballs.
– Sophie Mann SCR ’18, Liz Sommer PZ ’18, Abby O’Brien SCR ’18, Brendan Busch CMC ’18, Elliot Warner CMC ’18, concept by David Leathers CMC ’15