Tag Archives: golden antlers

Freshman Announces Decision to “Really Buckle Down” This Semester


 Early Monday morning local CMC freshman Joe Myers announced his decision to “stop fucking around” and start thinking about his future. After a stunning 14 weeks on campus Myers concluded that he was ready to knuckle down and work hard in his classes.  Myers decided that he “might even apply for a job at KLI”

Dear Sage Antlers: “I’m Troubled by Thongs!”


 Dear Sage Antlers, Very often I find myself in a difficult situation involving panties and social insecurity: I want to do my laundry, but all the machines are full. However, there is one machine done operating with the clothes still sitting in it. Could I just wait for an open one? Yes, but fuck that!

Dear Sage Antlers: “I’m in Love With a Pomoaner”


 Dear Sage Antlers, I’m in love with a Pomoaner. There, I said it. I’m constantly trying to catch his eye over the Frary burrito line. I write limericks comparing his eyes to the Pomona Skyspace, but I just can’t hook this hen! He enjoys “learning for the sake of learning” and I enjoy learning for