Dear Girlboss, You are receiving this email as you were unable to make a housing selection due to the shortage of rooms during room draw, our campus partners are in the process of obtaining additional inventory at College Park to meet this need. However, because of unusually high demand for housing for Fall 2022, we […] More
The Golden Antlers recently obtained a number of declassified documents exposing illicit actions taken by a current Claremont Mckenna College trustee through a Freedom of Information Act request. The information contained in said documents is shocking: they reveal that Mr. Scrooge McDuckerson, during his senior year at CMC, financed clandestine operations in various Central American […] More
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Dear D, “The big V-day is coming up and what better gift to give my hookup/mancandy than sex in public? Can you recommend a location on the 5C campus that won’t get us arrested or seriously injured? Any tips? – Budding Voyeur” My Dearest Budding Voyeur, You must be of the freakiest variety and only […] More
Christmas cheer descended on the colleges yesterday when Santa Claus himself landed his sleigh in Claremont. Saint Nick’s landing marked one of many stops in his pre-Christmas exposition tour. Highlights of the day included a meet-n-greet milk-n-cookies at Claremont McKenna’s Athenaeum, followed by a private discussion of the decreasing importance of elves in the manufacturing […] More
In an email sent out to students at approximately 9:35 PM Dean Mary Spellwoman stated unequivocally that the actions of a group of local high school hooded hoodlums were unacceptable. The email is reproduced here: This is an advisory for The Claremont College Community. Campus Safety has received reports of a group of 4 to […] More
Dinner was unfortunately served a little bit too well-done for Pitzer’s Tranquility Foster ’16 this Monday. The 5C’s remain in a strange state of simultaneous solemnity and confusion in the aftermath of what appears to be a bout of impassioned, yet arguably impulsive, civil-disobedience. Miss Foster appears to have attempted an act of self-immolation in […] More
This Saturday’s Homecoming game against the Chapman Panthers marked an all-time low attendance record. A staggering percentage of those in attendance were alums who claimed to be “reliving [their] glory days.” Many alums walked out of the football game before half-time; a ’78 grad called the competition, “the worst thing I’ve seen since Claremont Men’s […] More
Claremont students were lucky enough to host singer, songwriter, superstar Taylor Swift on Monday night after Harvey Mudd College won an online contest which they definitely did not hack. As part of her VH1 Storytellers show, Swift opened up and gave us all the juicy details behind many of her smash hits and even previewed […] More
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6:01 A time of wonder, a time to think to yourself “Finally, I really am a college student!” Or perhaps, “So that’s what champagne feels like directly on my eyeball!” Or perchance, “Why am I waking up surrounded by nurses with an IV in my arm!” Let’s just say that if you remember anything past […] More
After wandering off in a delirious haze last Saturday night, that prospective student whose name you struggle to recall, regained consciousness in the back of a Toyota pickup truck traveling south on Highway I-5. The underage high school student for whom you were personally responsible never made it back to your dorm after you abandoned […] More
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The game, the challenge, the legend. Can you bag someone from all five Claremont Colleges? Don’t fret because this is college and finding a ‘special friend’ for an evening is as simple as lowering both your standards and your inhibitions with the help of a little liquid courage. Now of course you can always use […] More
After officially completing year one at Camp Claremont, I learned a few life lessons. Lessons that matter. Lessons that stick in your mind. Lessons like, For the Love of God and All That is Holy Never Pregame the 6:01 party. Shipping off to college is more than a little terrifying. Trust me, I’ve been there. […] More
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