Dear Sage Antlers, Very often I find myself in a difficult situation involving panties and social insecurity: I want to do my laundry, but all the machines are full. However, there is one machine done operating with the clothes still sitting in it. Could I just wait for an open one? Yes, but fuck that! […] More
2012 has certainly been a crazy year for The Golden Antlers! We’ve received over over 35,000 views in three months, the search term “Karl Marx titties” apparently leads to our website on occasion, and 124 of you like us on Facebook. Additionally, famed statistician Nate Silver estimates that Editor-in-Chief Clancy Tripp has experienced “a marked […] More
Christmas cheer descended on the colleges yesterday when Santa Claus himself landed his sleigh in Claremont. Saint Nick’s landing marked one of many stops in his pre-Christmas exposition tour. Highlights of the day included a meet-n-greet milk-n-cookies at Claremont McKenna’s Athenaeum, followed by a private discussion of the decreasing importance of elves in the manufacturing […] More
Late last night in Honnold Library, Harvey Mudd Sophomore Ralph Harrison* found a small pill he presumed to be Adderall on the floor right next to “one of those life-size ‘Ask A Librarian’ cutouts.” Harrison reportedly woke up the next morning with no recollection of the hours between 9 pm and 10 am and a […] More
In an email sent out to students at approximately 9:35 PM Dean Mary Spellwoman stated unequivocally that the actions of a group of local high school hooded hoodlums were unacceptable. The email is reproduced here: This is an advisory for The Claremont College Community. Campus Safety has received reports of a group of 4 to […] More
Dinner was unfortunately served a little bit too well-done for Pitzer’s Tranquility Foster ’16 this Monday. The 5C’s remain in a strange state of simultaneous solemnity and confusion in the aftermath of what appears to be a bout of impassioned, yet arguably impulsive, civil-disobedience. Miss Foster appears to have attempted an act of self-immolation in […] More
Things between local it-couple Caroline Nyce (Forum Editor-in-Chief) and Sean McQueen (Forum Managing Editor) are heating up, and this time it’s hot off the press! An anonymous, concerned source told The Golden Antlers that ever since “that girl who is always riding a long board around and that guy who is obsessed with living in […] More
Alternate Headline: “Suck it, Forum.” After months of deliberation, the CMC Board of Trustees took a break from shutting down companies and e-mailed the student body. Today they formally introduced Pamela Gann’s successor: former male model and homecoming king Hiram E. Chodosh. “On the unanimous recommendation of the Presidential Search Committee, and scryed from the […] More
Chad Jones, a CMC senior, broke history today when he wrote a 200-page senior thesis.“I just had so much to say, you know?” Jones said. As a Government and Economics dual major with a finance sequence, Jones wrote his thesis on the Obama Administration’s fiscal policy during Obama’s first 100 days in office. In the […] More
We’ve all noticed that Frary’s Prometheus mural is missing a certain je ne sais quoi. Actually, we all know exactly what it’s missing. So just in case you were wondering, The Golden Antlers did some high-quality sleuthing to find out a few of the top theories about this missing member. Where did this disco-stick disappear […] More
Dear Sage Antlers, I’m in love with a Pomoaner. There, I said it. I’m constantly trying to catch his eye over the Frary burrito line. I write limericks comparing his eyes to the Pomona Skyspace, but I just can’t hook this hen! He enjoys “learning for the sake of learning” and I enjoy learning for […] More
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