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The Official Claremont Confession[s] & Claremont Compliments Drinking Game Rules

 

As if you needed another excuse to fuel your rampant alcoholism, The Golden Antlers has got your back once again with the Claremont Compliments/Claremont Confession[s] Drinking Game!  Every college has got ‘em (though we suspect we have more threesome facilitations than the average institute of higher learning) but ours is the goddam’ best.  Grab a cold one (and some tequila, and some Everclear) and buckle your seatbelts cause this is gonna be one hell of a night.

Disclaimer: We accept no responsibility or liability for any unsightly fellows/ladies you may hook up with as a result of this game.  We do, however, look forward to reading about it on Claremont Hookups.

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Claremont Compliments

Take a Sip Every Time…

–  a compliment is vaguely racist (“hot for an asian guy”, “chocolate skin”, etc.)

someone’s significant other passive aggressively comments on a compliment (“You’re right, OP, he IS really hot. That’s why I’m dating him.”)

the words “you single?” are used (I mean, my god, it’s like they’ve never heard of a fragment.  Thanks Tarzan.)

OP gets trolled (There’s a reason CC has so many friends, and it’s called fascination with the abomination.)

Chug Your Drink Every Time…  

Ben Turner gets a compliment (or for lightweights who don’t want to get too wasted, drink every time he doesn’t get a compliment)

a post is so vague that four different people tag their friends and they all fight to the death. (“There can only be one ‘girl wearing a backpack outside the Coop!’”)

Take A Shot Every Time…

someone you have a thing for gets a compliment and it sends you on a rage spiral of trying to figure out who your competition is (YEAH BITCH, WE KNOW HIS ANKLES ARE DREAMY, KEEP YOUR GRIMY INTERNET PAWS OFF).

CC posts a compli-sult (OP: “@JaneDoe: You have a great personality! Plus you’re the only human being I’ve met who I could have a chance with also I have a vivid imagination during sex as long as you don’t speak and I’m allowed to keep my eyes closed.”)

someone uses the phrase, ‘hot for a Mudder.’” (Really? That’s the best you came up with?  That’s like saying, “someday he’ll be rich; plus he’s not hideous!”)

Finish Your Drink Every Time…

 someone calls a Mudder hot… and they’re actually hot. (Just kidding, Mudders, we love you! Call us! We’re lit majors, so you know we get creative and use great metaphors in dirty talk.)

It’s about you. (Unless you are Ben Turner)

*Bonus: Chug Everclear every time someone you hate gets a compliment!

Unless the person you hate is Ben Turner.  In which case:

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Claremont Confession [s]  

(Take a sip right off the bat if you’re wondering why it’s in the singular — We sure as hell are.)

Take a sip every time…

some privileged white dude-bro complains about things being “too PC” (“ok, ok, can I just say something though? I feel like a *certain minority group* is getting a leeeeetle bit too touchy about being called chicken-and-waffle eaters.  I mean, I like chicken-and-waffles too!  Why is it racist if I refer to a whole race of people as chicken-and-waffle eaters?? #TMYK”)

someone you thought was a decent human being likes the above confession

that threesome confession from like two months ago gets another anonymous comment. (Like, is that really gonna pan out?  Pun intended).

Chug your drink every time….

OP’s grammar is corrected by three different English majors in the comments

a Linguistics major posts 300 comments in response to the English majors

Said English and Linguistics majors get in an argument about prescriptive versus descriptive grammar usage

some asshole friend tags you in the comment of a confession that, if seen by any potential employer, would destroy all hope of employment (OP: “Sometimes I really just like to seek out this endangered species of wombat and then force it to perform fellatio on me while I revise my internship application to be Michele Bachmann’s personal assistant”  Your Friend: “lolololololol CLASSIC @yourname”)

Someone links to a feminist blog in the comments (extra sips if it’s a tumblr, if the title has the word ‘patriarchy’ in it, or if it’s Liat’s)

Take a shot every time…

OP wants to know where all the sexy Sneetches with green stars on their bellies are at

someone asks where the non-drinkers are?? (not playing this fun-ass game, that’s for damn sure)

Kenny Moran, Ashley Where-Is-Waldo, or Daniel Lipson loses an argument.

The moderator puts an ‘?’ after a Trigger Warning (“TW: racist against yaks?” or “TW: corn?”)

OP tries to not-so-stealthily figure out someone’s sexuality (“John Doe is the Adam to my Eve, I wish I knew whether he preferred serpents or garden bushes…”)

Someone fetishizes a professor (chase with beer if it’s that one hipster lit professor with the dog)

Finish your drink every time…

OP just wants to cuddle, watch Disney movies, and then engage in some Sexy Times 169: Advanced Methods (Cirque du Soleil)

some fresh genius comes up with the idea that there should be a Claremont dating page and begs the world to create one (wow, if only someone had thought  of that a full year ago! I’d call it Hooking Up Claremont…)

Someone who is pretty clearly the OP comments on their own post defending themself (OP: “I h8 Claremont”  CommentDefender:“No no, I think OP is trying to say that he/she/they hates Claremont because of a certain fat bitch who sits behind him/her/them in Psych 30 who acted like she was down and then come Saturday night she’s like ‘wah my pet dog was run over by a Weiner-mobile’ and she wont sleep with him/her/them.  Or, I mean, that’s just what I get upon first reading…)

Drink enough to die alone…

– Every time you submit a compliment to yourself. (It’s ok, we’ve all done it.  OH WAIT NO WE HAVEN’T because we have self-esteem! We wake up every morning and butter our toast with self-confidence and go to work with a pocket full of sunshine.  You should be ashamed of yourself, submitting to FormSpring…as if we don’t all know how to hack FormSpring.)

{NO PERSONS, NO MATTER HOW NICE THEIR BOOBIES ARE, UNDER 21 ALLOWED “DISCLAIMER” SO WE DON’T GET OUR BOOTYLICIOUS ASSES SUED}

– Liat Kaplan CMC ’17, Clancy Tripp CMC ’15, Julia Comnes SCR ’16, Christie Kweon SCR ’15, Theresa Iker SCR ’14, Sam Pitcavage CMC ’15, Dante Toppo CMC ’15

Muse & Object of Sexual Lust: Ben Turner CMC ’16

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