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The Top 9 PERM Requests You Shouldn’t Attempt

The 5.0: "Dear professor: I'm not planning to be an Econ major, so I looked on ratemyprofessor and found the teacher with the highest "easiness" rating. Please let me in so I can blow off your class"
 
The Science GE: "Dear professor, there comes a time in the life of every boy when he must take land air and ocean science and become a man. My body is ready, and my will is strong."
The Science GE: “Dear professor, there comes a time in the life of every boy when he must take Land Air and Ocean Science and become a man. My body is ready, and my will is strong.”

 

The "Pressed Enter Too Soon":  "Dear Professor,"
The “Pressed Enter Too Soon”: “Dear Professor,”

 

The Godfather: "Dear professor: your son Jacob sure looked adorable in his red shirt today walking into Horace Mann kindergarten. It would be such a shame if something happened to him... or if I didn't get into your macro class"
The Godfather: “Dear Professor: your son Jacob sure looked adorable in his red shirt today walking into Horace Mann kindergarten. It would be such a shame if something happened to him… or if I didn’t get into your macro class”

 

The Chili Pepper: "Dear Professor Fabbe, I'm a CS major but i keep hearing about your "exciting" mideast studies classes and I thought I'd branch out. please let me in"
The Chili Pepper: “Dear Professor Fabbe, I’m a CS major but i keep hearing about your “exciting” mideast studies classes and I thought I’d branch out. please let me in”

 

The 5.0: "Dear professor: I'm not planning to be an Econ major, so I looked on ratemyprofessor and found the teacher with the highest "easiness" rating. Please let me in so I can blow off your class"
The 5.0: “Dear professor: I’m not planning to be an Econ major, so I looked on ratemyprofessor and found the teacher with the highest “easiness” rating. Please let me in so I can blow off your class”

 

 

The Realtalk: "Dear Professor of 'Learning From Youtube'  I'm a second semester senior majoring in Accounting.  This is no way relates to my degree.  You do the math."
The Realtalk: “Dear Pitzer Professor of ‘Learning From Youtube’ I’m a second semester senior majoring in Accounting. This is no way relates to my degree. You do the math.”

 

The Character Limit Classic: "Hello professor, It has come to my understanding that the second section of Lit 149 "sensuality and syntax: Victorian grammar vixens" often fills up early. Could you perhaps slip me into your class? in return I'll slip you into my [0 remaining characters]"
The Character Limit Classic: “Hello Professor, It has come to my understanding that the second section of Lit 149 “sensuality and syntax: Victorian grammar vixens” often fills up early. Could you perhaps slip me into your class? in return I’ll slip you into my [0 remaining characters]”
The Buzzword: "Dear Professor Ganguly: I was totally signed up to take Dr. Massoud's ECON086 class, but then I found out that the midterm is on Pirate Party. Two questions. 1. What is your policy on liquid assets in class. 2. Will you let me in please?"
The Buzzword: “Dear Professor Ganguly: I was totally signed up to take Dr. Massoud’s ECON086 class, but then I found out that the midterm is on Pirate Party. Two questions. 1. What is your policy on liquid assets in class. 2. Will you let me in please?”

 

The Realist: "Dear Professor, The only other section of this class is at 8 am on Fridays. This doesn't fit into my schedule as I plan to be hungover."
The Realist: “Dear Professor, The only other section of this class is at 8 am on Fridays. This doesn’t fit into my schedule as I plan to be hungover.”

 

– Dante Toppo CMC ’15, Liat Kaplan CMC ’17, Haley Patoski CMC ’14, Clancy Tripp CMC ’15, Aseem Chipalkatti CMC ’15

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