Pomona junior Susan Borhurst entered the Smiley third floor bathroom Tuesday morning pleased to find that it was empty. Little did Susan know, that would soon change.
“I was super pumped to see that there was no one in there, because I had three cups of coffee that morning and I was totally turtling. So when that bitch from down the hall came in right after I sat down, I was obviously pissed,” says Susan.
Susan thought that her hallmate would just pee and then leave, like usual. Susan describes this behavior as “super fucking annoying, except usually fine because I can just hold my poop until she leaves.” But Susan’s horror grew as she realized there was no sound coming from the neighboring stall. The girls had entered a poop stalemate.
It was at this point that Susan had to make a split second decision– to try to poop as quietly as possible and hope that her neighbor would leave soon, or to surrender and leave the bathroom herself. She chose the latter.
“I didn’t want to be weak. But I also was so upset that that bitch interrupted my poop again; I just had to get out of there before I did something impulsive. This is really the final straw.”
That bitch from down the hall declined to comment.