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Top 14 Freshmen Orientation Week Articles We Didn’t Write

Mudders Buried Under Syllabus Week Homework
 
2-Buck-Chuck Sales Drive Excellent Quarter for Foothill Trader Joes: “We Also Sell Food,” Says Spokesman
2-Buck-Chuck Sales Drive Excellent Quarter for Foothill Trader Joes: “We Also Sell Food,” Says Spokesman
Stoners: Dry Week Shaping Up to Be Super Dank
Stoners: Dry Week Shaping Up to Be Super Dank
ASCMC Spends Hours Debating if First TNC Should Be ‘Tight n’ Bright’ or ‘Jungle’ Themed: DAC & Exec Sec Hospitalized for Dehydration
ASCMC Spends Hours Debating if First TNC Should Be ‘Tight n’ Bright’ or ‘Jungle’ Themed: DAC & Exec Sec Hospitalized for Dehydration
Sophomores Have “Definitely Matured” Since Freshman Year: They “Really Know the Ins and Outs of This Place” Now
Sophomores Have “Definitely Matured” Since Freshman Year: They “Really Know the Ins and Outs of This Place” Now
Ants Throw Welcome Back Rager for North Quad Residents
Ants Throw Welcome Back Rager for North Quad Residents
Target Announces It Is “Literally Out of Everything”
Target Announces It Is “Literally Out of Everything”
Appleby Pod Buys Telescope, Feels Pretty Good About Chances With Freshman in Boswell With Window Third From The Right
Appleby Pod Buys Telescope, Feels Pretty Good About Chances With Freshman in Boswell With Window Third From The Right
Mudders Buried Under Syllabus Week Homework
Mudders Buried Under Syllabus Week Homework
Liquor Land to Consider Offering Shuttle Service for Freshmen Without Cars
Liquor Land to Consider Offering Shuttle Service for Freshmen Without Cars
Embarrassed Pitzer Students Kindly Request Mom & Dad Park Aston Martins on CMC’s Campus
Embarrassed Pitzer Student Kindly Requests Mom & Dad Park Aston Martin on CMC’s Campus
English Professor Swears Her Paid Month-Long Trip to Greece in July was ‘Totally 100% Research-Oriented” and “Not in Any Way a Vacation At All”
English Professor Swears Her Paid Month-Long Trip to Greece in July was ‘Totally 100% Research-Oriented” and “Not in Any Way a Vacation At All”
Pomona Sponsee Committs Sponcest With Spib at FroshAid in Front of Sponsor: News Travels Quickly Via Spo-Gro
Pomona Sponsee Committs Sponcest With Spib at FroshAid in Front of Sponsor: News Travels Quickly Via Spo-Gro
An Estimated 23% of CMC Freshmen Still Unclear When Scavenger Hunt Ended
An Estimated 23% of CMC Freshmen Still Unclear When Scavenger Hunt Ended
A Mere 67% of Scripps First-Year Accommodations Have French Balconies: Parents Feel “Outraged” and “Cheated”
A Mere 67% of Scripps First-Year Accommodations Have French Balconies: Parents Feel “Outraged” and “Cheated”

– Sean McQueen CMC ’13, Sam Pitcavage CMC ’15, Clancy Tripp CMC ’15, Ben Turner CMC ’16, Theresa Iker SCR ’14, Maddy Stein CMC ’15

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